About 4 months ago, something -- I honestly don't know what -- made me move. I got up one morning and took a different direction. It helped that I had someone to take that step with me. It helped that God gave me a very clear sign that I was indeed in the right place. And you know what? Today, I don't feel stuck anymore.
What I did to unstick myself
I've come to understand that the single biggest thing keeping me in that "stuck" place was the belief that I -- and I alone -- was the only one who could move me.
"But I've got these things that I wish were different, things that pretty much only I can make different, but I can't seem to make any movement toward any of them. I'm just stuck," is what I said in March.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
On that first day that I woke up and dared to think differently, I had someone who was willing to think differently with me. I had people I didn't know but for a brief exchange of introductions reach out to me. I've had people on the periphery cheering for me and people in the trenches pulling me along when I felt like I couldn't go another step. I have God.
When I became willing to lose the stubborn toddler "I can do it myself!," I found the grace to see the possibilities in life, not just the obstacles.
Keeping on
The road has not been particularly easy -- changing my way of thinking seldom is, but it has been do-able. It turns out that when I start to look at one thing differently, I start to look at lots of things differently. I start to step out of the shadow of the fearful "Oh, but what ifs" and into the light of the adventurous "OH, but what IFs!"
I have not arrived. In fact, I'm not entirely sure where I am going. But I am moving and it feels so good.
