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Saturday, September 1, 2012

Thinking out loud

My back hurts.
My front sags.

My iron is low.
My blood pressure is high.

I cough when I laugh
and pee when I cough.

My saddle bags hurt.
(I didn't even know I had saddlebags until they started hurting.)

I have weight to spare and
I run out of breath.

I wake when I sleep
and want to sleep when I'm awake.

I take twice as many medications
as I have children.

I've lost control
and gained 50 pounds.

Something has got to change.

I don't want to join a group, find a partner, write down what I eat, bribe myself to reach some arbitrary goal. I don't want to talk about it, pray about it, think about it. I want to ignore it. But it won't let me. Because every day when I get up,

My back hurts.
My front sags...

2 comments:

Nate's Mom said...

Oh Amy! I know it's not nice to laugh at someone else's misery...but, well I'm so sorry. I just about spit diet pepsi on my laptop. On the other hand, I am laughing at myself too, because I can relate to all of it.
Sheri in CA

kimybeee said...

as someone that comes from a long lineage of weeble-people, i feel your pain - literally and figuratively!!!

i also have no intention of doing anything about my size either. i have always said that i would have to get sick to do something about it. i take meds for anxiety and my thyroid, but so far i am good on everything else.

my feet hurt - a lot. i can trace that back to having a broken foot 7 years ago that ruined both of them because of 3 months in a cast and favoring the "good" foot over the bad.

my knee hurts - i can trace that all the way back to high school and cheerleading. i don't remember the actual injury, but i do remember having the p rv rt sports manager wrapping my knee for cheerleading.

aching back all the way back to when i was 14 and in a car wreck.

big front - when i had babies.

all the weight - pregnant and then pound after pound just piled up.

and i am not gonna do a darn thing about losing weight - i have plenty of excuses for now to keep me busy lol