Scouts be darned. I was NOT prepared.

The e-mail was sitting in my inbox. It had been there for a day or two. I'd read it once or twice. And I was ignoring it.

"We need someone to be the Den 2 coordinator for the Blue & Gold Banquet."

Yeah. Not me. Except everyone seemed to be thinking that. So because Robbie's den leader is super nice and because I carry Catholic guilt like mosquitoes carry malaria, I caved. I was not prepared to be steadfast in my silence.

"I volunteer to coordinate."

I mean, really, how hard could it be? I've coordinated a zillion things in my life as a mom. Make a list. Have people sign up. Direct people where to go and what to do (one of my inherent gifts, by the way) on the day of. The theme is birthday party. 

So I made my list and e-mailed it out:

Good afternoon friends. Here are the things we need to provide as a den for the Blue & Gold Banquet on Sunday:

1. # of guests -- Please reply to this email and let me know how many of your family will attend. (I am WAY behind on this so your quick response is appreciated.)

2. 1 person to provide 2 dozen party blowers (the theme is "Birthday Party")

3. 4 people to provide 4 EMPTY birthday-themed wrapped boxes or gift bags with tissue paper for table decorations. Shoe box size or smaller, please.

4. 3 people to bring a birthday-themed balloon bouquet. (Doesn't have to be elaborate. 1 Mylar and 4 regular helium filled balloons would do the trick.)

5. 1 family to help with set up.

6. 1 family to help with clean up.

7. 1 person to make a birthday-themed cake for judging 

Piece of (birthday-themed) cake. 

I was not prepared for the virtual chaos that followed. The e-mails started flying. "I'll do the party blowers." "I'll do the boxes. All of them." "I'll do the blowers." "I can do half the boxes."

Yipes! This was getting harder to keep straight than Neil Patrick Harris. 

I lamented about it on the 4th Frog Facebook page. "Use SignUp Genius," a friend suggested. Pure genius! Crisis averted. Blue & Gold back on track. 

Then someone said, "what about food?" Food? I was not prepared to consider food. I thought that's what the cake was for. The event is from 3-5pm. That's between meals. Do we really need food? Well, the "banquet" part of "Blue & Gold Banquet" would indicate yes.

So on the advice of a BTDT Scouting-pro of a Dad, I settled on Backyard BBQ. I edited the SignUp Genius to ask for hot dogs (specifying "cooked & warm" because you just never know), chips & side dishes. Update and share.

Not 3 minutes later did I get an e-mail noting that the den would need to provide plates. Back to the Genius. I requested napkins and utensils too, just in case. Although now that I think about it, no one has said anything about drinks…

Then I remembered something about a skit. I was not prepared to handle a skit. A FB friend said "Put the boys in charge of the skit." 

Fourth grade boys in charge of a skit? Well, that's a sure-fire way to get a skit about farts and butts. After searching my inbox, I found the e-mail that said yes, indeed, the den should be prepared to present a skit. There was a link to 3 skits. I chose the one that required the easiest props. Laughably, the skit is called "The Toothache." (If you don't get the joke, click here.)

So now, I have 3 days left to prepare. I'll wait for other families to sign up for what they plan to bring. I'll assemble the hodge podge of decorations into something that can be construed as "birthday party." I will hastily direct Robbie and his friends in an Oscar (the Grouch) worthy performance.

Mostly, I'll prepare to not be disappointed when the Scouts do not elect me "party planner of the year."