Good shoes and banana peppers

When I am an old woman...I will not wear a purple dress or a red hat. Nor will I join one of those clubs that insist you wear both at the same time. But as time quickly passes before my 40th birthday (32 days for those of you who are counting), I have noticed a few things that have changed about me as I've gotten older.

1. I will spend good money on comfortable shoes and a good haircut. I might wince a little at the register at first, but in the long run, I'm happier and I'm worth it.
   
   
2. The spirit may be willing, but the stomach is weak. We just spent a day at Holiday World and let me say, that if you spin me right 'round baby right 'round, like a record baby, I'm going to throw up on your shoes or have to sip Sierra Mist and sit on a bench for the next hour or so.
   
   
3. The spicier the better. Give me banana peppers over pickles on my sandwich any day. I prefer salsa to ranch dip for my veggies and chips. Unless I've just been on Paul Revere's Midnight Ride at Holiday World, in which case, give me a bed in an air conditioned room, hold the banana peppers.
   
   
4. Number 3 is only true if I'd had my little purple pill, which is Nexium for heartburn, not to be confused with the little blue pill, Viagra, which is for burning hearts of a different sort and which I don't think would be useful to me.
   
   
5. I am less sure of what I want to be when I grow up than I was at 22 when I graduated from college. At this point, I'm considering mortuary school, hospital chaplain, or being independently wealthy. It's a toss up.
   
   
6. I sometimes think it would have been nice to have one more child. Of course when I think this, I think that I should be paying attention for other signs of dementia.