Don't eat that!

I sat down earlier today to make out the menu for the week. Happily, I could plan dinners for the next six nights using what food was already in my freezer and pantry.

Sunday: Chicken salad on biscuits and orange slices
Monday: Oven fried drumsticks and sweet potatoes
Tuesday: Grilled cheese and french fries
Wednesday: Lasagna and asparagus
Thursday: Baked potato with broccoli and cheese
Friday: Fish Fry Night!
Saturday: Leftovers

I realized, though, that we were a little short on fruit and things for lunch boxes and after school snacks. So after I dropped Annie and her friends off at volleyball practice, I popped into the grocery store to pick up a few items: apples, bananas, carrots, yogurt, popcorn and milk.

Now that should be the end of the story. Actually, if that were all, then this would be a story so ordinary that I wouldn't even tell it. But in this house, that's not quite all.

If I came home and put the fruit in the bowl on the counter, the yogurt and milk in the fridge and the popcorn in the pantry, it would be gone. In probably 36 hours. If I buy it, they will eat it.

So, I put 3 bananas and 4 apples in the bowl. I hid the other 5 bananas in the pantry behind the flour and sugar canisters.

Three of the yogurts found their way into the kitchen fridge, with the rest of them and the remainder of the apples in the refrigerator in the garage, hidden behind the bottles of water. One gallon of milk went to the inside fridge, one to the outside.

While I had the refrigerator open, I got out a Sharpie and marked "Do not eat" on the package of cheese I'm planning to use for Tuesday night's dinner. Finally, I put the two boxes of microwave popcorn on the top shelf of the pantry -- visible, but out of reach.

By the end of the night -- two hours later -- the yogurts in the fridge were gone, as was one banana and two apples. Tomorrow after school, I'll set out a few more pieces of fruit and pop one bag of popcorn.

I know it seems very controlling. And I guess that's what I'm trying to do. Control how fast my family goes through the groceries because if I don't, I'll be back at the store tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that.

What am I going to do when they're teenagers? I think I might need to invest in a walk-in safe.