Games people play...or...Mommy's legs are broken

In our house, a lot of time is spent playing games. Mostly of the sports and video game variety. Last weekend our schedule looked like this: football, soccer and soccer on Saturday, followed by another football game on Sunday.

But I have a favorite game that I like to play, too. It's called "Mommy's Legs Are Broken and She Can't Get Off the Couch."

There are a few basic rules to this game:

1. It can only be played when there is no where anyone has to be, because Mommy's legs are pretty much required for driving to soccer practice.

2. It can only be done when Daddy is not home. Otherwise Daddy will try to play too and it's just not the same.

The great thing about this game is that other than the two above, there are no rules. No uniforms to be washed (though jammies are recommended), no equipment necessary (though the phone and the TV remote are allowed).

The game generally starts when one or more children ask for something that said child/ren is/are perfectly capable of getting for themselves.

Kid: "Mommy, can you get me a glass of milk?"

Me: "Nope. Sorry."

Kid: "Why not?"

Me: "Because Mommy's legs are broken and she can't get off the couch."

Kid: "Arrgghh! Not again! I hate this game."

Which is how you know this is a real game, because there are members of the "opposing" team saying not so nice things to your team.

From there, the game is totally up to the Mommy.

"Can you please bring me a Diet Coke?" -- Pleases and thank yous and other common courtesies are still expected. Mommy's legs may be broken, but her sense of social etiquette is not.

"Can you pick up all the shoes and take them to the right rooms upstairs?"

Generally, this game is a good way to get things accomplished, like having the family room picked up, without Mommy having to be the one to do all the work. Once the children get the hang of the game, they will try to play too. This is never allowed. Kids legs are never broken. Only Mommy's.

The game can end in a variety of ways:

1. Mommy's had enough rest that she feels ready to take on the family again (which has yet to happen in my house).

2. The doorbell rings and a stranger is at the door, so Mommy must get off the couch because children are not allowed to open the door for strangers.

3. The house catches fire and Mommy must evacuate.

There you have it. The basics of my favorite game, "Mommy's Legs Are Broken and She Can't Get Off the Couch." Coming in a boxed set with bonus margarita mix to a store near you this holiday season.