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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

If you give a fat girl a cookie...

If you give a fat girl a cookie, she is gonna eat it.

If she eats the cookie, the fatter she'll get.

The fatter she gets, the worse her heartburn will get.

The worse her heartburn gets, the more she will need daily doses of drugs like Nexium and Prilosec.

The more Nexium and Prilosec she takes, the less her body will absorb iron.

The lower her iron levels get, the more exhausted she will feel all the time (even if she is using her CPAP machine religiously).

When she feels so exhausted, she will just want to lay around in front of the TV.

And chances are, if she is vegging out in front of the TV, she'll want a cookie to go with it.

5 comments:

CWMartin said...

So, is this a "please don't feed the fat girl" sign?

Amy said...

Ahh, CW, therein lies the quandry. Do not feed is a good idea, but the fat girl loves to eat. Perhaps a sign that says "fruits and veggies only, please."

Lana Wallpe said...

One cookie should not hurt, at least once the fat girl gets her iron levels back on track. Hang in there chickie! Eat a ginger snap. :-) NOT ignoring you, just trying to get my own body mass moving to all the spots it's supposed to be on time. Has cloning been perfected yet? If Me#2 comes out a bit thinner, I'm fine with that! ;-)

Roper Cox said...

Fruits and veggies?? Ewww gross... Unless you are throwing the veggies on a bigazz sandwich and putting the fruit in a delicious warm cobbler with 2 scoops of ice cream.... Ok fridge raid time...

Darlene http://adventuresofamiddleagemom.com said...

Amy! You've been nominated!http://adventuresofamiddleagemom.com/2012/07/18/fabulous-blog-ribbon-winner-me/