It's church directory picture time again. I'm not sure whether to arrrgh or just sigh...
Our church is pretty big, at least as far as Catholic churches go. Some 2,000 families. So have a pictorial directory is a good idea. That way you can know the name of the family who always comes in after the first reading or the one who leaves a mess of Cheerios in the pew.
The first time we had our family picture taken for the directory, there were only 3 of us and Annie was just 10 days old. The last time, there were 4 of us. Charlie was 3 years old and Annie asked the photographer if he would take a picture of just me and her. Make me melt.
Now, there are 5 of us and probably the only thing melting that will happen is the meltdown I might have about what we're all going to wear.
In the last directory, one family all wore red clown noses. It was great -- no one even looked at what they were wearing, except on their noses. Another family all wore Cincinnati Reds t-shirts. This year, friends of our all wore Butler University gear. Perfect, as he works for BU. But that doesn't help me much.
Robbie would be happy if we all wore Angry Birds outfits. Maybe Mike and I could sport the red bird and King Pig costume heads? Charlie wants to wear basketball shorts and a t-shirt. If we were to get a photo taken that really reflects who we are as a family, we'd all be holding some kind of electronic device and I'd have a Diet Coke in the other hand.
Since that would probably make us look shallow and pathetic, I'm moving on to Plan B. Mike wants to wear jeans and sport coat with a white shirt. I don't love the jeans, but don't feel like finding and ironing his khaki pants, either. The boys would be happy in jeans and as long as I don't make them wear ties, dressing them will be pretty easy.
Annie is all set to wear a hipster-approved, vintage-look dress with cardigan that she really does look cute in.
Then there is me. I scheduled our pictures for the latest possible date so I would have time to lose 20 pounds. Yeah, like that happened. Instead, I think I've gained 5.
So between now and this evening, I have to find something in a color that looks good on me -- I'm thinking purple -- that doesn't make me look like Grimace, Barney or any other large and cartoonish character. No matter what I decide to wear, I'm pretty sure Spanx will be part of the get-up. If only they made Spanx for chins...
If I want people to recognize us at church from our picture in the directory, I'll have Robbie slumping, Charlie staring off into space, Annie twirling her hair and Mike and I on the ends looking happy to just have made it (mostly) on time.
Yeah. Not awkward at all.