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Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Way out of my comfort zone

I really should be in bed. If I were in bed, I would not be sitting here with my laptop, writing a blog post that I may or may not have the courage to actually publish. But sometimes a girl just has to step out of her comfort zone and say what's on her mind.

I have never had to bite my tongue or at least hold still my fingers on Facebook more than I did today with all this "Boo Chick-fil-a," "Yay Chick-fil-a" chatter going on. But as I was attempting to sleep tonight, my brain wouldn't shut off about the topic, so, good idea or not, here I go.

All the Chick-fil-a talk made me really hungry for a crispy chicken sandwich with buffalo sauce and a side of waffle fries. But I didn't eat at Chick-fil-a today. It's not that I am protesting Dan Cathy and his personal beliefs, but I had no desire to wait in line for an hour or more for my dinner. Instead, I ate at Panera Bread, which has probably ticked off some group somewhere along the line.

However, I am sure that I will eat at Chick-fil-a sometime in the future. That doesn't mean I am anti-gay or a member of some hate group. It means that I like those chicken sandwiches. As far as the company itself, I am more concerned about how my local restaurant treats its employees and customers. If the owner of the company has extreme views, my buying or not buying a sandwich from his restaurant is not going to change those views.

Others think it's important to express their dissatisfaction with their money (or lack thereof). That's fine with me. There are organizations I choose not to support because they are affiliated with other organizations that I have moral disagreements with. It's our choice as informed consumers to decide where we want our dollars to go. 

I'll admit, the idea of gay marriage is tough for me. I do believe that many people are born gay, that it's as intrinsic to who they are as a predisposition to right-handedness or left-handedness. And I don't think anyone should be made to behave in a way that is contrary to his or her true self. I also think that in today's world, some people choose to participate in homosexual relationships because the opportunity presents itself or because they feel like the right person of the opposite gender hasn't come along, or maybe doesn't exist. The latter makes me sad.

I also think, and I know this is likely to be wildly unpopular, that God calls us each to a different life. Those called to marriage are called to be true, physically and emotionally, to their spouses. Those called to religious life are called to be celibate, as are those called to the single life. And if you are born gay, is it also a calling to a chaste life? That's not to say those who are not married are not privy to love, but perhaps are called to a different kind of love.

I honestly don't know. I know what my church says. And I know that other churches have different thoughts. I know that friends -- intelligent, thoughtful and moral people -- have different views. For all I know, God is in His heaven wondering why we humans have made love so complicated. Which is why I didn't beat the drum for or against Chick-fil-a on Facebook, or anywhere else, today.

Maybe that makes me a non-committal coward. Maybe some people will stop reading this blog because I'm not prepared to draw a line in the sand and choose my place on either side.

Maybe. But at least, for today, I'm not too chicken to say what I'm thinking.

10 comments:

Kris said...

You certainly do get different answers on the issue depending on which lens you look through, don't you? Which is the lens we should look through in our society? A religious one that results in unequal treatment for some people? Or a secular one that denies a beautiful theology of family and the dignity of human sexuality? I'm going to let God worry about it, not me. I do know that heterosexuals have done more to destroy the sanctity of marriage and a dignified human sexual expression that a pair of committed gay people ever could.

Kris said...

You certainly do get different answers on the issue depending on which lens you look through, don't you? Which is the lens we should look through in our society? A religious one that results in unequal treatment for some people? Or a secular one that denies a beautiful theology of family and the dignity of human sexuality? I'm going to let God worry about it, not me. I do know that heterosexuals have done more to destroy the sanctity of marriage and a dignified human sexual expression that a pair of committed gay people ever could.

Eternal Lizdom said...

This is a beautiful and honest post. I respect you for writing it and I don't disagree with anything you say. Thank you.

Lana Wallpe said...

I have been so out of this issue because it hit the fan during our fair, and I just haven't had the time or energy to tune in to it totally until now. My gut feeling is that this issue is NOT for us to decide. I kind of lead my life, to an extent, with the idea that if it is not harming me and my family, then it is not my place to judge. I, like you, also believe that most gay people are living a life they had no choice in if they are living their true life. I would hate to live in a world that required me to me someone other than my true self and forgo true love. I just think, this issue is bigger than me, and I will let Him have the last say when that time comes.

"The Queen of Free" said...

Christ was hated by the world for his radical views on grace. I'm not a theologian or a Biblical scholar but when he said, "The world will hate you because it hated me" I'm pretty sure it wasn't his invitation for us to go out and intentionally make the world hate us. I wanted to cover my head and cry yesterday, as if physically ducking down would help me not get hit my the debris of what felt like insanity going on all around me. :/

CWMartin said...

Nice job in expressing your feelings. All those of us who went to CFA wanted was for Dan Cathy to be able to express his, as well.

Momza said...

Thank you, Amy for expressing your thoughts so kindly.
I did not go to Chik-Fil-A yesterday, because I too, don't have the patience to wait in line for over an hour. But I have many friends who did and I was glad that they took time out of their lives to support Dan Cathy's right to not only share his beliefs without being harassed for them but also his right to invest his money into those beliefs.
I believe in traditional marriage. I am well aware of the divorce statistics--heck, I am one--but that doesn't negate the value of marriage.
I would never support a person or a company that intentionally bullies the LGBT community--but I also claim the privilege of worshipping God how I want to, and supporting the causes I believe in, and afford everyone else the same right.
It is troubling that there is so much debate about this in the news, when we have much larger problems infesting our societies. I wonder what would happen if we put as much time and focus upon the poor and needy in our midst?
We could do so much more if we worked together on what's really important.
Thanks, Amy!

Mich said...

LOVE this post. I think it's one of your best. It might have been hard to write, but it wasn't hard to read. I myself am not actually boycotting Chick Fil-A. But I'm not supporting them either. Will I NEVER eat there again? Not likely, because let's face it, their chicken ROCKS! But I'm not going to eat there today or tomorrow.
Anyway, again, great post.
Mich

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post, Amy. This is exactly how I feel, too. I just don't know how I feel on the subject. Torn, for sure. I'm glad I am not the only one.

I don't eat meat, and we don't have Chick-Fil-A here, but this issue is more than just chicken for many people. I wish I knew where the line was drawn, but I don't. And I don't think I have to know. God only asks me to love people the way He loves them. Everything else is in His hands, and it's okay of I haven't got it all figured out.

-Shauna

kimybeee said...

i do understand your feelings. it is not my job to judge what other people choose to do or don't do with their lives. it is my job to stick to my morals and beliefs. but i refuse to join the big hoopla surrounding this topic and many others.

i always applaud someones right to express their opinion, even if it doesn't agree with my own lol i can debate and talk for hours about topics like this. i can argue either side too - when i graduated from high school i wanted to go to law school. i think i would have liked the debate part - but i don't think i could defend someone that did something terrible!