They said the F word. I said nothing.

There I was, minding my own business, soaking up free WIFI at a McD's, biding time until I had to go pick up my daughter. About 20 minutes and one large iced tea into my solitude, a group of 20-somethings seated themselves two tables over from me. They were loud and they were vulgar.

Every sentence was peppered with the F word and the B word and the S word. I'm not a stranger to those words, but I don't use them often. Or proudly.  But these "kids" were flinging them around without remorse as though they were saying "very" or "heck" or a thousand other more polite and intelligent-sounding words.

I wondered if the young family I'd heard sitting behind me earlier had left the restaurant. I hoped they had. And I sat there wishing these profanity-prone hipsters sitting four feet from me would just shut up and go away. I opened my Facebook page and mused with my fingertips when such vulgarity had become so commonplace, so mainstream.

What I wish I would have done, what I should have done, was stand up, walk over to the table and asked them to not use that language. Not so loudly. Not at all.

But I didn't. I didn't because I feared what they might say, already imagining the red embarrassment climbing up my neck and across my face. I feared what insults they might hurl in my direction. I didn't because I worried that after I'd said my piece, I would feel compelled to pack up and leave and I didn't want to go just yet. I had things to do, time to spend and I had been there first.

I didn't say anything because I allowed the people-pleasing anxiety I carry to take my mind to scenes of them following me to my car, threatening me, hurting me.

I wish I'd said something. It wouldn't have saved a life. It wouldn't have conquered a great injustice. But maybe it would have made this corner of the world for that moment on this night a little nicer place to be.

What would you have done?

Scaredy cat

For the past week or so, Robbie has been afraid.

I think it started when all three of the kids decided it would be fun to scare each other. They'd wait outside the bathroom or around the corner when they knew someone was headed for the family room or under the covers in the bedroom. Then, at just the right moment, they'd jump out and yell "Boo!" at the generally unsuspecting party. Although he was often on the receiving end of the scaring, Robbie dished up his own fair share of scare tactics as well.

Then late last week, they watched Batman vs. Dracula, a cartoon that I had chosen for instant streaming from Netflix. Usually, Robbie is fascinated by the topic of vampires. He's never seen Twilight or any of the sequels, but he asks Annie endless questions about them. But for some reason, Batman vs. Dracula scared the Bela Lagosi out of him.

Since then, he is afraid to go anywhere by himself. I'm not talking about going outside to play. I'm talking about going to a different room.

If I tell him to go upstairs to get his shoes, he can't because he's scared. If I ask him to get me a Diet Coke out of the garage fridge, he says its too dark in there. If I move to turn over while lying down with him at bedtime, he is instantly sitting up, asking where I'm going.

I'm trying to be sympathetic without being coddling. If he wants to go to the basement to play Legos but is afraid because it's too dark, I offer to stand at the top of the stairs and watch him as he turns the lights on. I've issued an edict that there is to be no more jumping out and scaring each other. If I'm in another room, he'll randomly call out my name. When I say "Yes, Robbie..." he says, "Oh, ok," as if he's just checking that I haven't left him alone in the house.

I feel bad for him. I also feel impatient, hoping this phase passes quickly and not entirely sure of how to help it along. So if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears.

Biggest Loser: Hang in with me HOWIE - The finals edition

Top 15 Moments of the Biggest Loser Finale

1. Danny won the Biggest Loser! He started on the ranch weighing 430 and lost 239 pounds for a total percentage of weight loss of 55.58%!
   
   **** The rest of these occurred chronologically from the beginning of the show to the end.****
   
   
2. The side-by-side walking of the then and now. Pretty cool effect.
   
3. Liz looked great - healthy and happy (but, see #2 in the worst list below)
4. Julio -- now he's one HOT tamale!
   
5. Jillian looking Fergie-licious (ok, that one was contributed by my husband)
6. Replays of Jillian's "encouragement" of Julio at the ranch: "There's no crying with tractor tires...Every time you lay down, I'm going to think "dead father."
7. Abby. "There is always hope." 'Nuf said.
   
8. Dina - My biggest obstacle to conquering that box was fear. Boy, can I relate.
   
9. Shay looks beautiful. She certainly has more work to do, but she is striking. And statistically speaking, she's added 13 years to her life!
   
10. Rebecca and Tracey both looking amazingly toned and fit.
11. Shay invited back Season 9's finale - for every pound she loses, Subway will pay her $1,ooo! She could earn $100,000!
    
12. Antoine proposing to Alexandra. Predictable, but sweet nonetheless. "I've accomplished the impossible in my life because I had you by my side."
13. Rudy BROUGHT it!
    
14. Danny's ear-to-ear, brilliant smile - he looks fabulously amazing!
15. Danny talking about what an inspiration Rudy was to him. I could see the mutual admiration.
    

Worst Moments of the Biggest Loser Finale

1. Amanda getting picked. It's ageism, I tell you. Or stupid men mesmerized by long, blonde hair and boobs.
2. Liz may have done a great job at weight loss, but she needs a better bra!
   
3. That purple monstrosity of a dress that Tracey was wearing.
4. Rebecca lost a ton of weight -- and her common sense. Where are your pants and what's up with that hair, girl?
   
5. Dr. H's hair. Can you say mullet-ish? Nothing new, but next season maybe they should include him in the makeover episode.
6. "America chose me." Everytime I heard that tonight, it was like fingernails on a chalk board."
7. Nine at-home players had higher percentages of weight loss than Amanda, who was in the finals.
   
8. Only the Biggest Loser gets a cash prize. I think the top 1 and 2 from the ranch and the top 1 and 2 at home should get some green.
   

The Stats
Alexandra - 309 to 218 (-91, 29.45%)
Antoine - 367 to 215 (-152, 41.42%)
Sean - 444 to 289 (-155, 34.91%)
Julio - 407 to 227 (-180, 44.23%)
Coach Mo - 355 to 263 (-92, 25.92%)
Dina - 253 to 174 (-79, 31.23%)
Abby - 247 to 147 (-100, 40.49%)
Tracey - 250 to 132 (-118, 47.20%)
Shay - 476 to 304 (-176, 36.13%)
Daniel - 312 to 201 (-111, 35. 58%) (from his highest of 454!)
Rebecca - 279 to 140 (-139, 49.82%)
Allen - 325 to 209 (-116, 35.69%)
Liz - 267 to 176 (-91, 34.08%)

The BIGGEST Loser Finalists:

Rudy - 442 to 208 (-234, 52.94%)
Danny - 430 to 191 (-239, 55.58%)
Amanda - 250 to 163 (-87, 34.80%)

Thanks for joining me for The Biggest Loser this season!

Nothing to fear but...

Check out my latest entry on the Fit City Moms Blog. Can you relate?

Biggest Loser: Who gets your vote?

At the start of tonight's show, the final 4 -- Danny, Liz, Rudy and Amanda -- head to their individual homes for 60 days. There are celebrations welcoming them home, a video from Bob and Jillian telling them they would be running a marathon, and a look at how they are adjusting to being home.

I could relate most to Rudy. How do you find/make time for yourself in the face of work and family demands? Liz's discussion about her marital difficulties felt like TMI and made me feel sorry for her husband.

Honestly, the 1 hour spent on the first half of the show could have been done in about 30 minutes. I thought the show really picked up and became interesting when they arrived back in California to run the marathon.

They all looked good, but Danny looked freaking amazing! Rudy pulled out to an early lead in the marathon, followed closely by Amanda. Danny and Liz went at a much slower pace, staying together and encouraging each other through significant hip and knee pain.

Along the route, various people were placed to offer moral support. One of them was Tara. She ran with Danny and Liz for a while, then caught up to Amanda, who was running with her best friend Brian. By mile 17 Amanda was crying that she couldn't do it. No surprise there, although I won't pick on her because most I've ever done is 13.1 miles.

Dina, Rudy's blue team partner, ran about 1/2 of the marathon with him. For the last mile, Bob ran with them both -- the same path they all ran in their first 1 mile challenge the first day on the ranch. It struck me how cruel it was that the last steps were in the sand. Running on the sand is hard. Running 26.2 miles is miserable. But running the final mile of 26.2 miles on the sand is plain ridiculous.

Rudy finished first, followed by Amanda. I really had my doubts about whether Danny would finish. I expected Liz to go ahead without him. But they stuck together and they finished in under 7 hours!

I kept waiting for the product placement during the marathon - where was the Biggest Loser carb gel or whatever?

In the personal vignettes, several of the 4 talked about fear. The fear that they will go back to being those morbidly obese people, fear that they wouldn't finish the marathon, fear that they couldn't assimilate back into their families. Tomorrow is the kick-off breakfast for the American Heart Association's Heart Healthy Makeover and I'm finding myself pushing back a little, afraid of what I've gotten myself into, afraid that I won't be able to follow through. Ok, enough about me. Back to the Biggest Loser...

After the marathon, it was time for the weigh in. I've listed the contestants in order of their weigh in, starting weight, last weight at the ranch, current weight:

Liz - 267 - 198 - 182 (-16 pounds at home; total of 85 lost since start)
Amanda - 250 - 186 - 170 (-16 pounds at home; total of 80 lost since start)
Danny - 430 - 288 - 229 (-59 pounds at home; total of 201 lost since start)
Rudy - 442 - 296 - 253 (-43 pounds at home; total of 191 lost since start)

I know that men lose faster than women, but it's unbelievable to me that Liz and Amanda only lost 16 pounds in 2 months, compared to the major losses recorded by Danny and Rudy.

So the vote comes down to between Liz and Amanda. I almost couldn't stomach Amanda's "pick me again" plea. Though her "let me start what I've finished" logic made some sense to me.

Liz chose the "I'm the oldest female in the final 4. I could be the oldest contestant in the final 3" argument. I think that was the wrong tack to take. I think she should have talked about how she could compete, how she has the ability to put up the numbers it will take to be competitive.

But really, who to vote for? Think it over and cast your vote at www.nbc.com.