Do NOT mess with my kid.

As most mothers have, I've felt the Mama Bear instinct rise up in me when I sense that my child has been wronged or slighted in some way. I've talked about it here and here. But in both those instances, I was contemplating the ways other adults were treating my children.

Today, I found out that some kids have been picking on Charlie. Actually, the one kid I knew about. I spoke about her to the teacher last semester. The teacher talked to the student and things seemed to get better for a while. But just recently, Charlie's been worrying at home about being made fun of by these kids.

Then this afternoon I got an e-mail from the school counselor telling me that Charlie had come to talk to her regarding these kids and some other worries he's been having. Because I had a meeting at school anyway (different kid, different issue), I stopped by the counselor's office to get more information. That's when she told me that these three have had issues for much of the school year. They seem to pick a kid, gang up on him or her, and make fun of him.

After I left the counselor's office, I saw one of the hoodlums, er, I mean kids, in the hallway. Rage boiled up inside me and it was about at this point that I wished we were still in 1974, when Mike was in preschool.

Some kid kept biting Mike and his mom had just had it. So one morning when she dropped Mike off, she walked over to the kid and -- as legend has it -- grabbed him by the collar, got eye to eye with him and said to this preschooler, "If you ever bite my son Mike again, I will beat the living shit out of you." Problem solved. Kid never touched Mike again.

Oh, I so wish that I could do the same thing. Unfortunately, I'd probably be charged with intimidation or some other crime that would land me on the front page of the newspaper.

So I'm left with the mature and Christian options of talking to the kids' parents, letting the school try to intervene and provide corrective action, and, if all else fails, teach Charlie how to throw a fast and mighty left hook.