As most mothers have, I've felt the Mama Bear instinct rise up in me when I sense that my child has been wronged or slighted in some way. I've talked about it here and here. But in both those instances, I was contemplating the ways other adults were treating my children.
Today, I found out that some kids have been picking on Charlie. Actually, the one kid I knew about. I spoke about her to the teacher last semester. The teacher talked to the student and things seemed to get better for a while. But just recently, Charlie's been worrying at home about being made fun of by these kids.
Then this afternoon I got an e-mail from the school counselor telling me that Charlie had come to talk to her regarding these kids and some other worries he's been having. Because I had a meeting at school anyway (different kid, different issue), I stopped by the counselor's office to get more information. That's when she told me that these three have had issues for much of the school year. They seem to pick a kid, gang up on him or her, and make fun of him.
After I left the counselor's office, I saw one of the hoodlums, er, I mean kids, in the hallway. Rage boiled up inside me and it was about at this point that I wished we were still in 1974, when Mike was in preschool.
Some kid kept biting Mike and his mom had just had it. So one morning when she dropped Mike off, she walked over to the kid and -- as legend has it -- grabbed him by the collar, got eye to eye with him and said to this preschooler, "If you ever bite my son Mike again, I will beat the living shit out of you." Problem solved. Kid never touched Mike again.
Oh, I so wish that I could do the same thing. Unfortunately, I'd probably be charged with intimidation or some other crime that would land me on the front page of the newspaper.
So I'm left with the mature and Christian options of talking to the kids' parents, letting the school try to intervene and provide corrective action, and, if all else fails, teach Charlie how to throw a fast and mighty left hook.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
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13 comments:
have you thought about calling the terrorist's mom and talking to her about it? chances are, it''ll do no good, but it can't hurt to try.
I think I would try talking to the other parents as well. That may cause it to be worse, though. Do you know their parents?
Ever thought of having him take a self-defense class? I just took one last week (it was great!) and there was a little 10 year old girl there who was taking the class because of bullying at school. The defense class taught her how to handle the bullies without getting expelled from school and she walked away with a lot of confidence. It was great!
Ouch! Not sure if that's harder on Charlie or his mom!
Bravo to Mike's mom!
I had a similar problem as Mike's in kindergarten. A girl kept biting me and my parents had finally had enough and told me to punch her in the nose or the next time i came home with a bite mark I would get spanked. Next time she bit me I let the fist fly to her nose and the teachers looked the other way because they knew what had been happening.
Every kid faces something like this at one time or another. When my daughter was in first grade, me and another mom that volunteered there all the time called this group of first grade girls the mafia. One snotty little brat would tell all the other girls what to wear and where to sit and they had to follow these rules to be her friend. We wanted to beat her up in the bathroom - lol.
I hope you find the right solution for Charlie soon. Just remind him that it is their personality flaws causing the problems, not him.
Charlie will be stronger for dealing with this crap.
At my mom's school, they break up little cliques that form like that- they'll make them switch homerooms mid-year, and the teachers will be on alert to keep them apart at lunch. If that doesn't work? Expulsions start. Gotta love a Catholic education!
You're a good Momma Bear! And if talking it out doesn't work - then, something tells me he's smart enough to figure out how to "accidently" trip the punks as they run down the hall.
I'm sorry. :( My heart aches for you both.
I'd give the kid's parents a chance, and if that changes nothing, then go directly to the kid. I'm sure that's not what others will say, but I can't stand the thought of a kid being messed with at SCHOOL, where they're doing their job.
Things were so much simpler back in the day. My mom tells me that when I was in day care I bit another kid. Well the day care teacher saw me do and came over and bit me on the arm (same place I bit the other kid). It left a bruise but I never bit another kid! My mom was like "That's what you get."
That is soooo something I can see Mrs. Magan doing! LOL! (I went to church with Mike and Mark in HS)
My husband is an Assistant Principal in a middle school. He deals with a lot of discipline issues. I would, if the teacher isn't helping much, go to the AP. Maybe they can talk to the kids who are causing the problems and suspend them if it continues.(from the stories I hear the threat of suspension or actually being suspended works for most) I know, sometimes that makes it worse but if you can't get the teachers help then you need to go above them.
I also agree with your friend Annie. Self Defense class would be great! The other kids will never see it coming!!
Never underestimate the power of a stiff left jab followed by an overhand right! That said, I will pray for (you and) Charlie. It's amazing how young this stuff starts up. *sigh*
@anonymous - Oh, I wish I knew who you are! Isn't that funny about Mike's mom? I mean that's not the picture you'd have of the Junior League president, is it?!
I feel for you. It almost makes you want to repeat that scene from "the hand that rocks the cradle" where the "crazy" woman backs the bully up and threatens him with a smile on her face. My son faces bullies too who tease him about going to special class for reading. teachers do their best but they are not the mommies who feel the hurt as deeply as our child.
my heart hurts for your son. my little boy has been dealing with this stuff since 1st grade. he's 11 now and fighting depression because of it. he's in counseling which is helping, but its so hard to see your child who is truly a breath of sunshine in such a dark place. its a helpless feeling as a mom. i'm glad you are being pro-active. i wish i had known then what i am just learning about now. i think things could have been different for my son. --- Annie suggested a martial arts class --- which is what we are about to do. it teaches self disciplie, self confidence and not to mention -- self defense. good luck to you & i'll be praying for charlie to rise above.
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