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Friday, May 4, 2012

How do I feed this thing?

I've been a parent for a little more than 15 years. So I know things. Parental type, family care type things. But one thing I haven't quite figured out is how to feed this:

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My first child is a girl. Annie is a predictable eater. Yogurt, cheese, apples, pretzels, cucumber, ham sandwiches. When it comes to meal time, with the exception of breakfast which she prefers not to eat, when it's time to eat, she eats. Robbie, the little guy, a steady diet of cereal and he's happy.

This one? He is a tricky one. Ring the dinner bell and he comes to the table, protests already forming on his tongue.

"I don't like broccoli."

"Rice? Ewww."

"Can I make myself a sandwich?"

If the meal is not pasta, tacos or pizza, forget it.

Then there are all those other edible moments of the day -- after school, before and after soccer practice, before bed. Oh, he'll eat then. But not before he complains about the lack of food in the house.

Today for example. "Mom, you have to go to the store to buy more food," he whined in a more angry than whiny voice.

"I just went to the store."

"But there's nothing here."

Well, son, it may seem that there is nothing here because at this point you have eaten 3 popsicles, 4 bags of fruit snacks and 2 granola bars in the last 10 minutes. All of which was said in my head because I really wasn't in the mood to argue.

"Have a sandwich. There's peanut butter and jelly, and ham and cheese."

One PB&J later, he was still grousing about never having food in the house. And he does have a small point. I don't generally buy volumes of food at once. Usually about $100 worth at a time. That's for two reasons. 1. If I buy it, they will eat it. And 2. I try to space out our food expenditures over the month. Food is expensive, yo.

He is a really active kid, so I don't doubt that he gets hungry. Famished, even. But feeding our family of five, one of whom is a near-teenaged boy, is like feeding a family of nine.

It all makes me feel a little guilty. I can see him stretched out on some therapist's couch tracing his life troubles to the fact that his mother never had enough food in the house. In my own defense, our definitions of portion sizes differ. A serving of strawberries to me is 5- 6 strawberries. To Charlie, a serving of strawberries is a 1lb. clamshell package.
So today I asked him to make a list of the things he thinks should be available at our house at all times. This is what he came up with:
  • apples
  • bananas
  • strawberries
  • blueberries
  • jelly, more jars
  • mio shock (whatever nonsense that is)
  • a lot of giant boxes of cereal
  • chocolate chip, blueberry, and plain waffles
  • protein bars -- labeled for Charlie and Dad
  • energy drinks
  • hot dogs
  • brats
  • cheese
  • a lot more bread
  • bagels
  • hot chocolate
 So he likes fruits, crappy meats, carbs and stuff hawked by professional athletes on TV. In abundance.

I think I might need another part time job.


Darlene said...

Been there. Done that. And believe it or not my 21y/o son is a real gourmet now. Feed him then send him to a friend's house where he can glom more chow!

The Reshoring Initiative said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mike Magan said...

great one!

Amy's Mom said...

How about a part time job at your grocery store. Maybe you could get a discount. Maybe you could even BLOG or Tweet for/about you grocery.

kimybeee said...

i feel your pain lol my boy is 16 now and for the last 3 or 4 years he will be stuffing his mouth with a handful of something all at the same time complaining he is hungry lol i guess boys just burn those calories up before they even consume the food lol

Ellen aka Ellie said...

Did he start this list with fruit just to impress you?

Beth Zimmerman said...

Josiah was my picky eater! VERY picky! I think he went a whole year on pizza without sauce, hot dogs, and nachos, at one point! Either maturity has finally caught up with him (he's 22) or he just gave up on a lost cause but he eats most everything now ... in smaller portions too!

Momza said...

Looks like alot of snack foods.
Maybe sit with him and make a real menu for a week, where he can particpate in the cooking of it? Best thing I ever did with my oldest he cooks better than I do!
Hang in there!