Pre-holiday reality check

About two weeks ago, my one remaining freelance writing gig came to an abrupt end. With no warning, my client told all of us writing for him to stop. I was counting on the weekly check from that job to finance Christmas this year. Then a few days ago, we got a rather big bill in the mail that I wasn't expecting. I could feel the anxiety begin to set in. It seemed like the perfect time to read the new e-book Cherie Lowe, aka The Queen of Free, asked if I would review. The book is called Keep the Happy in Your Holidays: 21 Ways to Save Time, Money and Your Sanity this Christmas Season and is available via download for $1.99.

I'll admit that reading books about saving money and budgeting ranks in my mind right above going to the dentist. But, frankly, I was looking for someone to tell me we could have a great Christmas season without spending a lot of money. At 122 pages, the book was a quick read.

Keep the Happy in Your Holidays is broken down into 21 tips, beginning with a pledge to make it a debt-free Christmas. That's not a hard one for us; we operate on a cash-only basis. From advice on what is really a good deal on Black Friday (Tip #4) to creative ideas for gifts that cost $5 or less (Tip #11), the e-book is full of practical ideas for a variety of situations and scenarios related to the holiday season, including gift giving, travel and even wrapping presents.

My favorite tip was Tip #9: Cultivate a Culture of Contentment in Your Kids. I want my kids to have happy memories of Christmastime and I don't believe that money = memories. Cherie offers these suggestions:

1. Begin with a thankful list (instead of a list of wants).
2. Conduct an ongoing discussion about wants and needs.
3. Invest in your child's faith.
4. Serve together. This is on my list of to do's this holiday season.
5. Ask for or give experiences. Maybe Grandma would like to pay for a few months of piano lessons?
6. Set limits. In our house, Santa brings 3 gifts and a stocking and mom & dad give 1 gift for each kid. We've done this since Annie's second Christmas, so our kids are used to it.
7. Reflect what you want to see. Cherie writes "If we are worried, hurried, or frazzled, we shouldn’t be surprised if they [our kids] are too. If we are consumed with our desire for the next big thing or are constantly dissatisfied, then they will be too."

Nowhere in the book does Cherie tell you what to do. She gives suggestions and examples of strategies that worked to help Cherie and her husband pay off $127,000 in debt in just four years. The e-book includes several free printables, including printable gift tags. She also does a nice job gently circling the reader back to the real reason for the Christmas season. 

Readers of Keep the Happy in Your Holidays also get the introduction and first chapter of Cherie's book, Slaying the Debt Dragon, which tells the Lowe's story of battling their mountain of debt and the lessons they learned along the way. That book will be available in bookstores in early January 2015.

How to get the books:

1. You can get both Keep the Happy in Your Holidays and Slaying the Debt Dragon on Amazon. If you use the links in this post to make your purchase, I'll get a few cents from your purchase. 
2. Beginning December 1, if you pre-order Slaying the Debt Dragon (available in paperback and e- book), you'll get a copy of Keep the Happy in Your Holidays for FREE.

To learn more about the books and hear what others have said about them, visit the book website.

My friend, her book, your bank account

My friend
One of the great fringe benefits of blogging is getting to know other bloggers, mostly incredible women who I likely would not have met if it weren't for the blogosphere. Cherie Lowe, AKA, the Queen of Free is one of those women. So when Cherie asked if I would be interested in reading and reviewing her new e-book, "Inspiration to Pay Off Debt," I was all in.

I said yes in part because I wanted to help my friend. But I also said yes because we are one of those families whose bills outweigh the bank account. We've taken the Dave Ramsey course, but haven't quite gotten ourselves to the point of action. We have stopped using credit cards (though we still owe on a couple), but we have a long way to go in the area of financial management.

Her book
So, in mid-September, Cherie sent me a free pdf copy of "Inspiration to Pay Off Debt." Here it is, mid-October and I'm just now reading it and sharing my thoughts with you. No, I wasn't kidnapped by a band of ninjas. No, I wasn't trapped by mountains of laundry. I wasn't even delayed by something altruistic like walking miles for charity. The truth is that the e-book sat untouched in my e-mail because I was afraid.

Afraid to take an honest look at what our income vs. expenses is. Afraid to have to lead my family in making uncomfortable choices.

Then yesterday, Annie and I were in Chicago and because of some short-sighted planning on my part, we found ourselves with less than $20 to spend for the entire day. Our hotel and transportation home were already paid for, so our money needed to go for food and entertainment.

The entertainment part was pretty easy. We walked 2+ miles to Millennium Park (in very cute, but not very practical shoes). The walk was enjoyable -- except for the shoes and for the part where I turned my ankle and sprawled in front of the Hilton on Michigan Avenue. I was so stressed about the money that I fleetingly thought, "If I have to go to the emergency room, they would probably give us jello and crackers."

We survived the day, thanks to 55-cent, day-old Jimmy John's bread (Annie's brilliant idea), a crazy-big slice of pizza that we split, and a shared McDonald's value meal. But by the time we got home, I'd had enough. I was ready to make some changes on the financial front, but I needed some inspiration to do it.

Enter Cherie's book.

"Inspiration to Pay Off Debt" is written in a 30-day format. Kind of like "Power of a Praying Wife," it's not a book to read it once and put away. At least that's not how I plan to use it. I anticipate reading it in order. Then maybe I'll go to a specific page when I need specific inspiration. Then I'll probably go back to reading it in order.

Honestly, it was hard to read it through quickly so that I could write this post. I wanted to sit with each day and give it some specific thought.Plus, I kind of like being referred to as a "Royal Lady." Finally, someone recognizes me for the royalty that I (think that I) am.

I scanned the pages, making note of things Cherie said in the book that resonated with or inspired me.

"Paying off debt is not complex, it’s just not easy."

"You can do it.
It will be hard.
You will still have fun."

"Face it Lords and Ladies, no matter how much debt you have, no matter how much you think you’re sacrificing, compared to the rest of humanity, most of you are rich."

"A lot of little bills were sucking the life out of us. Every. Single. Month."

There were some instances where I just marked down entire entries:

Day 10
Day 17
Day 23

Day 27 (In which Cherie took a page from the priest's message at our wedding -- "Getting on the same page financially could take weeks, months, or even years. But it can’t begin at all if you don’t open the lines of communication.")

Your bank account
So how does your bank account figure into this post? Well, if you are seeing something of your own lives in the lines here, considering downloading a copy of "Inspiration to Pay Off Debt."

Ordinarily, the e-book is $4.99. However, Cherie recently submitted another book to the ReWrite Conference Writing Contest. She won! (Watch for her new book to be published by Tynedale Momentum sometime in the next year.) To celebrate, Cherie is offering FREE downloads of "Inspiration to Pay Off Debt" for the next two days -- October 20 & 21.

If you download it, I hope you'll let me know what you think.

If money were no object

I would...

1. Get a pedicure every week.
2. Get a manicure every other week.
3. Hire a personal chef to make dinner 5 nights a week.
4. Take a family vacation somewhere amazing once a year.
5. Tip 50% of the total bill when we eat out.
6. Work out with a personal trainer twice a week.
7. Make anonymous donations of cash to people who inspire me.
8. Be more generous to the organizations we already support.
9. Have fresh flower arrangements delivered to my house weekly.
10. Buy my parents two new cars.
11. Become a professional volunteer.
12. Still make my kids get jobs when they are in high school.

If money were no object, what would you do?

Talk money to me, baby

Mike and I attended our first Dave Ramsey "Financial Peace University" class last night. I read Total Money Makeover two or three years ago, but never got Mike to read it and never really made an attempt to go through the steps Dave outlines for 86-ing debt and building wealth. Every six months or so, I would log on to DaveRamsey.com, look at the list of classes near us, then move on to Facebook or some other site not nearly so depressing.

But a few weeks ago, I found that a class was being held at a Catholic church near us and I decided now was the time. I didn't really give Mike a choice to agree or disagree, though for the record, he didn't put up a fight.

We stopped on the way the class to grab some dinner, which of course made me feel guilty thinking about WWDD -- what would Dave do? When we arrived at the class, I was surprised at the number of older couples in attendance. At age 39 and 40, Mike and I were probably right in the middle of the age range. 

I saw that a DVD was set up and I worried that we were in for a long and boring two hours. Turns out that Dave is a pretty funny guy. (The professional writer in me wonders if he writes his own stuff.) Mike was laughing and seemed to be enjoying himself. We looked at each other with a been-there-done-that look when Dave said something about the transmission going out being an emergency. We had to introduce ourselves and give a brief statement about why we were there. Well, duh...

Anyway, as I was sitting there next to my husband who was clearly engaged in the subject, watching a DVD about finances of all horribly boring subjects, I felt a strange sensation. I was getting a little turned on! And though I do sometimes have a thing for bald men -- Patrick Stewart (of Star Trek: The Next Generation),  Sean Connery, Cuba Gooding, Jr. in "Jerry Maguire," Dave Ramsey's chrome dome doesn't really do it for me.

What had me going was the realization that Mike and I were on the same page, with the same goals, and the same desire to get a handle on a situation that was created over time by a bad economy, a layoff, destructive spending habits and a lack of vision. But here we were, ready to work together to achieve what will ultimately give us peace of mind and security. There was definitely something sexy about that.

After class, as we got into the car, I told him that the idea of paying off debt, building our savings, investing more and working on it together had me feeling a bit frisky.

"Really?," he said. "I just feel gassy," which he then demonstrated, as if to underscore his point.

Talk about a buzz kill. Maybe next week, I'll head to class with our budget and a bottle of Tums.

Well, this is awkward...

Right after I posted Currency Crunch, her blogness the Queen of Free posted a guest post I wrote on making private school more affordable.

Compared to the Queen of Free and her compatriot, Bargain Briana, and likely lots of you who read the 4th Frog Blog, I am a virtual infant when it comes to saving money and snagging good deals. But thanks to the two of them and my own desire make a change in the way we handle our money, I'm making strides in the right direction.

I'm strategically using coupons with regularity. I'm comparison shopping via online ads. I'm socking away Amazon.com gift cards from Swagbucks to use for Christmas shopping. And when I can, I'm passing along what I'm learning.

Which is why it's ok that I have a money-saving guest post up at the Queen of Free. It's what I know about how to make private education affordable and I'm happy to share it. Check it out, tune in tomorrow for part 2, and leave your suggestions for ideas I may have left out.

Currency crunch

Earlier this summer, we made the decision to sell our Honda Pilot. It was a perfectly good car that was newer and had fewer miles than our mini van. But we sold it to use the proceeds to pay off some bills that were coming due. At the time it seemed like a good idea and frankly, I'd make the same decision again.

In place of the Pilot, we bought a used Volvo wagon that has been a pretty good car. That is until I pulled too far forward at the bank and drove the front end up over the sidewalk, knocking off some big plastic valance and damaging the radiator. It's not a cheap fix, but we're opting to turn it in to our insurance so we only have to pay the deductible.

Then, on the way home from Holiday World last month, the air conditioning went out in the mini van. Mike drove it that way for a while, but when the check engine light came on, he took it in. A glitch in the transmission. The mechanics said we could do a $90 fix and see if that took care of the problem. Plus, we paid $300 to have the air conditioning fixed.

Ok. That bullet only grazed us. Until last night when the transmission on the van started doing some really weird stuff, leaving us no choice but to drive it back to the mechanic to see what's going on. We're waiting for the bad news and I'm pretty sure "bad" would be welcome compared to what's in store. The van isn't worth what it would cost to put in a new transmission.

I know I'm not alone, but I just feel so cash-strapped that I can't breathe. Mike's bouts of unemployment over the past two years, combined with the expense of living separately, some indulgent instant-gratification habits, and a desire to give the kids certain experiences, have left us with not a lot of reserve.

I'm not trying to whine about money. No one put us in the situation. Believe me, I'm the first person who will stand up and say that we have not been the best stewards of our finances. Plus, we've encountered some significant medical bills over the past several years (three surgeries in the past 9 months alone). And, as Mike is quick to point out, we are in better shape than a lot of people. Still, we're not in the shape I want to be in.

We've signed up for the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University, which will start later this month. We say that we're ready to tackle this head-on. But, when I think about what sacrifices we'll need to make, I think that we can't cut the cable because how will we watch the Colts games? And it's good for the kids to be involved in extra-curricular activities (only one per kid). Of course, it won't hurt to keep going to my pricey salon because I'm worth the pampering, right? And I'd rather cut off my arm than give up my iPhone.

I have a feeling we're going to be our own worst enemies in this effort. But we're going to do it -- or die trying.

Thanks for listening while I "poured my heart out." Click here to connect to other PYHO posts.

Roughing it

We sold my car today. It was my idea and it took Mike a little while to warm up to it, but we did it. It was a great car -- a black Honda Pilot with lots of bells and whistles. I'd imagined driving it until the wheels fell off or one of our children wrecked it in their early teenage driving years.

But truth is, it is serving us better by selling it because we're going to take part of our profit, buy an older car that will make do for a couple of years, and use the rest of the profit to pay off some bills that are hanging over our heads. Dave Ramsey would be so proud.

We sold it to CarMax, who gave us a decent offer, especially considering there were several smallish, but bothersome, things we would have had to fix ourselves before we could sell it to a private party. Once we had the tidy check from CarMax in hand, we drove right over to the bank to deposit it. That's where's things got a little inconvenient.

Because of the size of the check, they put a hold on it. Half will be available on Thursday. If they can get clearance from the CarMax bank, we could have access to all of the money yet this week. If not, it will be next week before we get access to it all. Which is ok. We only intend to spend 1/2 on a replacement car.

But that still means at least two days of being a 1-car, 5-person, 3-camp, 2-job, 2-residences family. And that feels like we're roughing it.

It took us about 20 minutes to figure out how to manage tennis camp, volleyball camp and Mike's business meeting tonight. Then, after he left, I realized I hadn't thawed out anything for dinner and I didn't have a car to go to the store. Technically, I could have walked to the grocery store. But I would have had to take the boys with me and I just wasn't up to the whining and complaining about the heat -- from me or them. Thank God for Donato's coupons!

I haven't even begun to think about how everyone will get where they are going tomorrow. Instead, I'm focusing on finding a car that Mike and I can both agree on. My standards are much lower than his, but I realize this is kind of an ego thing for him, even though I'm going to be the one driving it.

Even so, I'm giving us until Sunday to find and fall in love (or at least in like) with something. Because I can already tell we were not cut out to be a one-car family. Either that or maybe I'll give Mike a bus pass for Father's Day.