About this time last year, I made a very public declaration
that by January 2016, I would have my house ready to sell. My New Year’s goal
(not a resolution, mind you), was to spend 2015 methodically purging and
sprucing our house so we could move. And
how did I do? Failed miserably.
As I sat at home on New Year’s Eve enjoying deep dish pizza,
Treehouse Masters on the DVR, and a few rounds of Killer Uno, it occurred to me
that all the things I could have worked on, improved, done better last year are
all still there waiting for me. My weight, organizational habits, the number of
books that I didn’t read, money management…I could go on. That realization could have been a recipe for
disaster, or at least regret.
But I didn’t let it be. I changed some in 2015. I learned
not to sweat the small stuff. I got comfortable with the idea of not being in
control of everything all the time. I ventured into the land of “no,” and found
that the world did not fall apart because I declined to do something.
Trust me, I’m still a work in progress. Just ask my kids. I still get stressed out
over stupid stuff. I utter “yes” to too
many things. I still own my people pleaser badge. But I do it all less than I
used to, so I’m counting it as a win.
How do I let things go, while at the same time holding
myself accountable to goals and standards that I consider important. I can say “Life is short; eat dessert first,”
but then be toppled by a heart attack or stroke or even a ballooning weight
because the reality is that donuts for breakfast and Snickers for lunch really
is not a great idea.
I don’t know what balance looks like for me in 2016, but I honestly feel a call to it. I know
it includes slowing down and really considering my needs and opportunities, not
rushing in, being comfortable with – or at least tolerant of – uncertainty.
2015 was a good year. A year of subtle, but significant
change.
I am looking forward to the balance that 2016 can bring.
