Sidelined

It's pretty hard to call myself a blogger given that I haven't blogged in about 3 weeks. But it's not without good -- but painful -- reason. Somehow, I've done something to my shoulder. Well, if you ask the physical therapist, I've done something to my neck, but it's my shoulder that's bearing the brunt of the pain.

Sitting at a desk all day, working on the computer has been killer on my wherever-it-is injury. So by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is sit down at the computer longer -- hence my long absence from the blogosphere.

I wish I had talk-to-type software because I've written plenty of blog posts in my head. Maybe I'll get them written soon.

The whole pain in the whatever started in April. I went to the chiropractor and her massage therapist and got some decent relief. But when it came back just a few weeks later my boss, who is a physical therapist, suggested that if I wanted to get more permanent relief, I should see a physical therapist.

First I had to go to my doctor, who ordered an x-ray of my shoulder. When that came back fine, she write me the PT order. I've been seeing the PT for about 3 weeks. I'll admit that the physical therapy is making progress....S-L-O-O-O-O-W progress. I'm not in debilitating pain anymore, which is good. But discomfort and I becoming too comfortable with each other.

My arm feels heavy as it hangs at my side, like the rubber bands of muscle are stretching long out of the socket. The PT fixed me up with some tape that helps tremendously. You know, the kind the Olympic volleyball players wear. Except my tape is white and flesh-colored and the only Olympic event I'm worthy to compete in is Olympic whining. Anyway, it seems like I've just traded the crazy pain for another problem. Now instead of just my shoulder hurting, the inside of my whole right arm all the way down to the tip of my thumb just lapses into numbness without much coaxing.

I have been faithfully doing my PT exercises, often in the car because that's where I spend much of my time. So if you drive by and see a plump woman who looks like she has tortocollis driving a minivan, try not to stare. It's just me, working on the neck stretches. Or if you see me and I appear to be serving an imaginary tray of imaginary drinks, I've not lost my marbles. I'm just doing some casual cervical neck flossing.

Of course I've near convinced myself that somewhere in my neckish/shoulderish region there is some tumor crushing my nerves. But in all reality, what Mike says is probably true: You turn 42 and things start going out on you.

MWF ISO SCD*

*Married white female in search of sunny, cheerful disposition

I've had the urge to blog lately, but I haven't because what I've wanted to say would have read like this:

Whine whine whine poor me poor me poor me grouse grouse grouse harumph harumph harumph whine whine whine wahhhh wahhhh wahhhh.

And who wants to read that?

So I've stayed away from the keyboard. I wish my default attitude was happy-go-lucky. Maybe like this:

Ok. Maybe not just like that, but you get the idea. About the only benefit of having a frown being the go-to facial expression is that it might burn more calories because it uses more muscles than smiling does.

When I stop to think about my life, I see how ridiculous it is to be whiny and harumphy. I have so many great people and great things in my life. I'm just in that season of life where the busy-ness of life overshadows the joy.

But this week, I'm going to work on embracing the joy, on finding a smile and wearing it often. I think I'll start with this little gem I found on Pinterest.

Source: dailypicksandflicks.com via Amy on Pinterest

It's not easy being green

Don't worry, this post is not about living au naturel and how I make my own soap and toothpaste and spin my sheep's wool into yarn to make my own natural garments. This post also has nothing to do with frogs. This post is about being green...with envy.

I'm having one of those days. You know the kind where everyone else has it better/easier/more fun than you. I know I should be grateful for my blessings. I know I am a lot better off than a lot of people. I KNOW, ok?! But I'm still greenish.

I'm jealous of those moms whose "only" job is to be a wife and mother. Who aren't the one always turning in the permission slip 3 days past the deadline because I couldn't figure out what I did with it. Who actually have time to go grocery shopping AND cook all that food before it spoils. (And who know how to cook.)

I'm resentful of those women who eat PopTarts for breakfast, Cheetos for lunch and whatever they want for dinner, but still can fit into clothes from the juniors department. I wish I didn't know what it felt like to want to call in "fat" to work.

I'm envious of those people who leave work at the end of the day, pick up their kiddos and go home. And STAY HOME, instead of leaving work only to plant their butt in a chair at home two to six hours later.

I'm solicitous of people who get mani/pedis on a regular basis. I'm jealous of people who walk into the store, buy whatever they want without giving a thought to sales or coupons or what's left to pay that month.

I'm covetous of ladies who lunch and couples who go away on vacations together and people who journal with multi-colored Sharpies, filling the pages with gorgeous doodles.

Yes, yes. I AM blessed. I have wonderful kids who make me laugh. A husband who asks how my day is going. I have a flexible job with co-workers I honestly like. I have a house and a car and no worries about where my next meal will come from.

But some days, the green-eyed monster just oozes out and I can't help myself. Which reminds me. I'm jealous of people who are content.

Note: I found the green-eyed monster pic on a blog called The Ladle Is Half Full. Her post on this same topic is worth a read. Same idea, less whine.