From grump to grateful

When I woke up this morning, it was 10 degrees outside. Windchill brought the "feels like" temp down to -8. I was crabby at the thought of getting out of my warm bed and put it off as long as possible. 

After hitting the snooze twice, I reluctantly got out of bed -- only after I checked my email and the local news websites to see if, by some grace, school was canceled or delayed on account of the cold. I sleepily walked to the bathroom and started the shower, giving the water a few minutes to warm up. I grumbled to the boys to get up and get moving. I told them they HAD to wear long pants and sweatshirts today. 

I got in the shower and dared the water to wake me up. It wasn't just my body that was awakened as the hot water streamed over me. My attitude got a wake up call as well.

I realized that I have a warm bed to crawl out of (and yes, to stay snuggled into). I have a warm house to wander in, waking sleeping people each morning. I have three wonderful children to argue with me about weather-appropriate clothing. I have a hot shower to step into. I have a job to go to that not only calls me out of bed but that pays for my heat and water and other things.  

And I have a God to thank for my many blessings, including the blessing of a new perspective to start my day.

Amen!

It's not easy being green

Don't worry, this post is not about living au naturel and how I make my own soap and toothpaste and spin my sheep's wool into yarn to make my own natural garments. This post also has nothing to do with frogs. This post is about being green...with envy.

I'm having one of those days. You know the kind where everyone else has it better/easier/more fun than you. I know I should be grateful for my blessings. I know I am a lot better off than a lot of people. I KNOW, ok?! But I'm still greenish.

I'm jealous of those moms whose "only" job is to be a wife and mother. Who aren't the one always turning in the permission slip 3 days past the deadline because I couldn't figure out what I did with it. Who actually have time to go grocery shopping AND cook all that food before it spoils. (And who know how to cook.)

I'm resentful of those women who eat PopTarts for breakfast, Cheetos for lunch and whatever they want for dinner, but still can fit into clothes from the juniors department. I wish I didn't know what it felt like to want to call in "fat" to work.

I'm envious of those people who leave work at the end of the day, pick up their kiddos and go home. And STAY HOME, instead of leaving work only to plant their butt in a chair at home two to six hours later.

I'm solicitous of people who get mani/pedis on a regular basis. I'm jealous of people who walk into the store, buy whatever they want without giving a thought to sales or coupons or what's left to pay that month.

I'm covetous of ladies who lunch and couples who go away on vacations together and people who journal with multi-colored Sharpies, filling the pages with gorgeous doodles.

Yes, yes. I AM blessed. I have wonderful kids who make me laugh. A husband who asks how my day is going. I have a flexible job with co-workers I honestly like. I have a house and a car and no worries about where my next meal will come from.

But some days, the green-eyed monster just oozes out and I can't help myself. Which reminds me. I'm jealous of people who are content.

Note: I found the green-eyed monster pic on a blog called The Ladle Is Half Full. Her post on this same topic is worth a read. Same idea, less whine.

Interrupted

I've been scarce around here I told you to put it away yesterday lately. Life has been a little crazy For the third time, do the dishes now and overwhelming. We're all good I can't bring your math homework to school, I'm in a meeting but moving in 100 different direc What's burning? tions, which is quite a lot for just 5 people. It's one of those seasons of You'll have to ask Santa for it because I'm not buying it life where I feel like I'm not doing a very good Uh, yeah boss. I'll have it to you at the end of the day job at anything I'm doing. Some of it is because I can't say NO we are not getting a puppy no. I can't help it, I'm a people pleaser. I'm sorry if you don't like me, I'm not changing my mind.  Some of it is poor time management on my part How did it get to be after 2 o'clock already? Damn Facebook! Some of it is just the luck of the draw I suppose. I'm not complaining Why is every durn road in this town under construction? I'm trying to remember my blessings and be thankful that my burdens are really just inconveniences. Cancer -- so sad. She's so young. And when I'm frazzled and fallen I need some ibuprofen now I'll take a deep breath and try again. Be back soon.

A new attitude

Have you ever done something and then later been embarrassed by your behavior? That's how I'm feeling about my "2010 FAIL" post (so emarrassed that I won't link to it here).

Of course, we are wholly blessed. Have we hit some bumps in the road, lately? Yep.

But mostly, I can look at my life and see people who not only love me and my family, but who readily step up to help when we need it. I'm sitting in a house that keeps us warm in the winter and cool in the summer, with a fridge and pantry that (most of the times) has plenty of food to offer. I have a job that I enjoy, co-workers who are fun and a boss who understands.

Friends -- both in real life and cyber -- have offered shoulders to cry on, help with the kids, and even to take me out for a much-needed drink. I'm coming to the tail end of an amazing experience in the Better U heart healthy makeover. I have three great kids who make me laugh on a daily basis. I have a husband who loves me, even in my most unlovable moments (most of the time).

And thanks to a friend who sent me this link, I am reminded that I have a God who does not ask me to carry all the crappiness of late by myself, who is just waiting for me to open my mouth and heart and say "help."

(On a practical note: Mike's 2nd surgery should take place sometime in the early afternoon today. Please keep him in your prayers.

And if you came here looking for the Biggest Loser wrap up, sorry, in all the craziness I totally forgot the show was on. But Cheryl (mom to Daris) went home.)

Counting my blessings

Charlie had cross country practice tonight. But before I could take him to that, I had to take him to Walgreen's to get a sports physical at their "Take Care Clinic." I wasn't sure how long that would take, so we left home at 4:30pm, with the ultimate goal of arriving at cross country practice at 6pm.

On the way down a very busy thoroughfare, I noticed a young woman walking down the median, toting a baby on each hip. It was hot and I immediately thought about how dangerous it was for her to be out in the middle of the street with those babies. So I pulled into the turn lane next to her and asked if she was going very far.

"Well, I'm trying to get to McDonald's," she said. "The girls are hungry and I have some Arch cards."

Despite what my mother taught me about not picking up hitchhikers (she wasn't hitchhiking -- she was just walking, minding her own business when I butted in) and not talking to strangers, I offered her a ride.

"The McDonald's is a little ways down there still," I said. "Do you want a ride?"

She turned to one of the girls, who it turned out wasn't a baby, but a small toddler, probably 2-1/2 years old. "Trinity, do you want a ride?"

Trinity said yes, all the while keeping her pink paci in her mouth, bobbing her head and bouncing her curly blonde ponytail. So the three of them got in the car -- no point in worrying about car seats. This had to be way safer than the human game of Frogger she had been playing.

I wondered what Charlie had to be thinking. I introduced myself by my first name only. She did the same and then introduced me to the girls, Trinity & Jada. She asked if the McDonald's was close, saying she wasn't from around here.

"So, where were you walking from?" I asked.

That's when she told me that she was homeless. That she'd called all over to find a spot in a shelter, but that they were all full. One of the shelters had given her the number to a local homeless initiative program that checked her into a hotel up the road and gave her the Arch cards.

"Do you have a stroller," I asked, thinking about how often she'd have to walk around with child in each arm.

"I don't have anything," she said. "The lady is bringing us some clothes tomorrow."

By this time we were at McDonald's. I told her that Charlie's appointment would be about 30 minutes and if she wanted, I could come back to pick her up and take her back to the hotel. She said that would be great. So that's what we did.

She said she didn't know anything about this side of town, that she'd grown up on the south side.

"Do you have any family there?" I asked. Yes. She had several relatives, but none of them had room for her. Now, let me tell you, if my daughter, sister, niece or cousin had two babies and no place to live, I wouldn't think twice about letting them stay with me, even if some folks had to sleep on the floor. But I didn't say anything.

She went on and told me how the girls didn't have their blankies for comfort, that she'd left everything with their dad. She didn't come right out and say it, and despite my most desperate curiousity to know how someone ends up in this situation, I didn't ask -- but I got the sense that she had left an abusive relationship.

"But the hotel is pretty nice" she went on to say. "It's a one bedroom room and the girls sleep with me. And the homeless initiative is gonna get me hooked up a place to stay and with TANF and food stamps and then things will be so much better," she said with genuine hope in her voice.

Now, if I was facing welfare and food stamps, I think I'd feel ashamed. But when you're facing the alternative of literally nothing, I guess those things would look pretty rosy. Dee (her name as I came find out) was homeless, but not hopeless.

We got to the hotel and she thanked me for the ride. I took Charlie to practice -- we arrived a few minutes before six. Now I knew the reason I'd been compelled to leave so early; I think God knew we'd be taking a detour.

When I tucked the kids into bed tonight, we said a prayer for Dee, Trinity and Jada and for all those people who are wondering tonight where their next meal might come from, where they might sleep tomorrow. Please keep them in your prayers too.