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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Stop him before he organizes again.

My husband needs a job. I am afraid of what will happen if he continues to spend the majority of his waking hours in our house.

It started with the brown bins. You know, the art deco-ish kind they sell at Target to make you think that THIS time you really are going to get your stuff together?

I think he said that the bins were for school, bills and mail. Or maybe they were for mail, bills and coupons? I can't remember. Right now in their dust-gathering spot on the dining room table, they are for random papers, newspapers and impossibly old school papers. (Don't ask me where the bills are.)

Then there were the big laundry tubs. 5 of them -- one for each member of the family. 4 blue and 1 pink, for Annie because she's a girl. Apparently Mike forgot that I possess a set of ovaries as well. Anyway, I was skeptical of the laundry bins because they are round. Who folds round clothes?

The kids weren't as skeptical as I was about the new laundry tubs. In fact, they love them:

I will admit that the tubs are handy for moving laundry in and out of the laundry room. So it wasn't all for naught, but they aren't working out exactly as Mike envisioned. (Three of them are sitting in the entryway as I type.)

But today, he moved from container cravings to higher realms. Higher as in he bought plastic bed risers to put under the frame of our bed. I went upstairs and felt like I'd fallen into the Princess and Pea fairy tale. Keep in mind that I am only 5'3" on a day when I'm standing up very straight. This new uplifting experience has raised the top of our mattress to about 31 inches. My bed is almost half as tall as I am. And the poor dog -- she can't jump on the top of the mattress anymore. She gets hung up on the edge and just gives you a look like "Hey, can a dog get some help here?"

When I asked him what had motivated him to put our bed on stilts, he didn't hear me at first. He was too busy looking at books on feng shui on, heaven help me. Once I finally got his attention, he said he did it so we can store stuff under the bed.

"Store stuff?" I asked. "We already store stuff under the bed -- dust bunnies, escaped fruit snack wrappers, fugitive socks and an eclectic assortment of Littlest Pet Shop toys and Legos."

Mike failed to see the humor or the logic in this.

"No, really," he went on. "See, I got these baskets to slide under the bed to store stuff." 

Again with the baskets?! But I hold my tongue because my dearly departed mother-in-law was famous for using laundry baskets as a haphazard filing and storage "system" and I think the mourning period is still in effect. Instead, I asked Mike what "stuff" he had in mind for the baskets. 

"The stuff that we have all over. The stuff in the closets."

"You mean the stuff we should just give away and be rid of?"

His body language conceded defeat on that one. But then he came in with the save -- "For shoes! We can store our shoes in the baskets under the bed."

Again, because I'm trying not to be too disagreeable I offered up an "ok," not mentioning that if we cleaned out the closets, there would be plenty of room in there for the shoes. 

I did ask what the acceptable weight load for these plastic risers is. He said something about using 6 risers instead of 4 so it will be fine. I'm thinking we might want to sleep in shifts, just in case. We are not the smallest people, after all.

I can only imagine what he's got planned for tomorrow, and I am afraid.


Ellen aka Ellie said...

My husband is a Realtor, and things are slow at times, so between calls he's been working on our great room--for six weeks now. It will be lovely when done, but truthfully it may never be done for certain because he's trying to find every popped nail he can to patch and repair. I think every time the wind blows, the house settle an another nail, "pops."

Next he wants to do the bedroom. Next, I'd like him to take a break!

Eileen said...

You are so funny.

Unknown said...

Oh my! This might be a case of be careful what you wish for for all us girls wishing our husbands would help with the house work! If you lived closer, I would let you turn him loose on my upstairs!

While Steve could not get in the field to plant, he split and asked me to help him stack enough wood for us to burn all next winter and then some if it's not too cold. I was glad to see the ground dry out enough for him to get back in the tractor! There are many farm wives in your same shoes praying that their husbands get out to do what they should be doing very soon!

Here's hoping the job market and those promising leads turn up something good before you go to
the heavy meds ;-)


Eternal Lizdom said...

Under your bed and under my bed must share under the bed space because I'm fairly certain they are an exact match.

If he starts making actual progress, maybe he can become a professional organizer?

Momza said...

I'm all about organizing and thinning things out!
Way to go, Mike! said...

My husband would love it if I possessed only one change of clothes! He loves the sparse look and I love shabby chic, antiques, and the like. It is a marriage made in...well just let's say he got to "decorate" the living room, and I am in charge of the rest of the house.

I am lucky that he has a job or he would probably rent one of those big dumpster thingys and chuck out my finds!

kbiermom said...

I think you hit the nail on the head, that this is related to his dear mother's passing. When my grandma died, my dad became very engaged in gardening and filling the enclosed porch with all kinds of plants. His parents, especially his mom, had been well known for their green thumbs. It was as if a torch had been passed. :)

Hopefully, your dh will get the hang of baskets as his mom did. My dad can resurrect any amaryllis left too long on the store shelves at Christmastime!

Good for you for giving him space and treading lightly :)