Curtain call...on studying theatre in college

My recent post, "My kid wants to study theatre and I'm not sorry about it," was met with several comments, most of them supportive. I have a feeling that the nay-sayers, those who are shaking their heads at my naivete, were just being nice and holding their tongues.

Usually when there are comments, I try to reply to them within the context of the comments. But there were so many things I wanted to say, that I decided to give it another piece of real estate here in the blog.

I loved what Ellie had to say about her son's non-traditional major in college (he studied library science): "He didn't treat college like a vocational school." Yes! Exactly. What happened to the idea that college is the place where people go to learn about different perspectives and different ways of viewing the world?  There is nothing wrong with vocational education, but the idea that going to college to be an X is so limiting. What happens when you've spent so many years learning to be an X, working as an X, and you wake up one morning and figure out you are really not meant to be an X, that your true calling is to be a Y or, God forbid, an H -- something so far removed from what you were trained to do? There is a difference between being trained and being educated. It does put the burden of work and creativity on the person willing to seek true education, yes, but what an exciting way to face life.

Heather has had some experience going from being an X to an H. She said "If it doesn't work out, use that experience to build on and remake yourself." We are no longer in an era where people work for the same company for 30 years. For some, we are no longer in an era where people even work in the same field for 30 years. I want my kids to go into life knowing that remaking themselves is an exciting, even enviable, option -- not the mark of failure.

Tricia is a mom like me with an arts-loving kid. Yet, based on her own experience, she is encouraging her daughter to look into related careers. That is a prudent path. I've spoken before to Annie about "Plan B." She nods her head. She understands. She had her first kick in the gut when when audition led her to a spot in a program, but not the program she wanted. It hurt. She was angry. But she is undeterred.

I could have circled back with a discussion about other career options, but as a mother, as much as I watch how theatre feeds her, I also see how "Plan B" sucks the wind out of her. This is her time. This is her life. If she wants to throw herself into a "crazy" dream, then who am I stand in her way. If she willing to drive herself to live her dreams, then I'm not going to go around deflating her tires.

Momza had a really interesting thought -- should the cost of a degree be based on future earning potential? Working in higher ed, I can tell you right off that no professor in the world would go for that. In fact, some theatre programs charge a premium above regular tuition. If the cost based on potential was the equation, there are a lot of schools who would find themselves on the short end of the stick when their graduates go on to make blockbuster films and platinum albums. Maybe the cost of a degree should be based on future giving potential -- how much will the degree earning be giving back to society when they work in their chosen career. Based on that equation, teachers would be earning millions.

I loved hearing from Jennifer, whose son is also studying theatre, and Kimmybee, who is counting on the day when she can say about Annie, "I knew you when." But in the end, it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. It doesn't even matter what I think. What matters is that my kid has found a passion and is willing to go all in for following her dream. So once again, my kid wants to study theatre and I'm not sorry about it.

You want to be WHAT when you grow up?

Since I was a little girl, I've wanted to be a writer. I remember a now really embarrassing episode when I was in the bathtub. I called my mom in, crying because I was so happy to tell her I knew what I wanted to do when I grew up -- I wanted to be a writer. Then to show her how good of a writer I was going to be, I proceeded to sing a song I'd written..."Blowin' in the Wind." She tried to tell me that someone else had already written that and suggested maybe I'd heard it somewhere. But I was insistent and she was loving enough to not squash my dreams like a little plagiarized bug. I'm not sure how she kept a straight face.

Fast forward 30 years and I am a writer. Not of songs or great works of literature. But I make my living via the written word and I'm thankful for that. I'm also a parent of three kids who have their own dreams. In the not too distant past, one wanted to be an actress, one a NBA star and one a Target worker. "Great," I thought, "They will all be living with me for the rest of my life."

But I didn't discourage them. I talk to them about the realities of those choices, what it would take to get there. Like my mom, I don't ask them about plan B.

As Annie has gotten older, she's started to understand the challenges and realities associated with acting as a life choice. As the college pitches have begun to fill our mailbox, she's thinking about majoring in psychology and minoring in theatre. We've talked about the need to go to graduate school to be a counselor. Yet, she still has a dream to be on Saturday Night Live.

"Go for it," I've told her. And why not? The world is filled with miserable people who are punching a clock, selling things they don't believe in. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. She can do both -- create a career that pays the bills and pursue her dream in the off hours. She just has to be willing to be put in the work to do it.

Then there is my NBA star. Oy. That one is a bit further of a reach. I'm encouraging him to concentrate on making a high school basketball team first. But that NBA dream drives him outside to practice his head fake and jump shot. Mike's been talking to him about the idea of writing about sports if playing them for a living doesn't pan out. Yes, there are a zillion sports writers out there. But if that's his passion, then who are we to tell him to forget about it? It's our job as parents to recognize his passions and help him set a course for creating a life built around them. Besides, he's 13.

As for my little Target worker, if that makes him happy -- and he shares his discount with me -- that's fine by me.

Waking up from a dream

Yesterday was the Go Red for Women luncheon and truthfully, I'm trying to reach back into the day and embrace all that happened. It was a fabulous day, but I really feel like I was walking around in a dream.

It started bright and early with the gals at Dr. Turkle's office doing our make-up. I really only wear makeup a few times a month. It's not that I don't like it, but despite numerous lessons, I don't feel like I really know how to wear it and it seems like an extra fuss I don't want to spend the time on. But I was more than happy to let Elissa work her magic:

Here's me, up close and personal. It's kind of an awkward self-portrait via cell phone camera, but I felt so pretty. I honestly got teary looking at myself and actually thinking the word "pretty" about me!

Of course I didn't miss the opportunity to get a pic taken with Elissa, my miracle worker:

The atmosphere was kind of like a wedding day -- all the bridesmaids sitting around together getting ready for the big event. Once all the girls had their makeup finished, we were off in style. The Heart Association sent a limo to transport us all to the hotel.

That's Kimila, Jessica, Dee, Ruth and our Go Red Ambassador/Coach Sandy.

If the morning went by quickly, once we arrived at the hotel, everything kicked into whirlwind pace. We didn't have much time to enjoy the atmosphere -- 1,000 women (and a few men) in red, toting fabulous red swag bags, health screenings, freebies, etc. I was able to do a few things but then it was time for the run through for the fashion show.

That's when I started getting nervous. I walked into the ballroom and saw it set for 1,000 guests and I saw this big long runway and I could feel the butterflies. But mostly, I just had fun.

Nancy from Macy's brought out a darling pair of red slingback wedges for me to wear and I just LOVED them! Then the firefighters who were going to escort us on the stage arrived. With them was one of their female firefighters who, it turns out, is friends with my friend Lynn, who told Joy to look for me. She was so sweet; meeting her was honestly one of the best parts of the day.

Soon after I met Joy, Mike arrived -- on crutches because he hurt his knee playing racquetball with the kids last week -- and Joy snapped this pic of us. I love the pic more than I love the red shoes!

Don'tcha just love the hearts in the background of the pic?!

After the runway practice, I ran into my boss and two co-workers in the hallway, all of whom were nice enough to say how great I looked. (I'm totally a sucker for flattery!) Then lunch - the food was amazing -- not your typical boring banquet stuff -- crispy flatbread, a squash and spinach lasagna, broiled tomatoes, apple cranberry tarts. I mean really delicious and heart healthy too.

We had to scarf the food down because then we had to run to get dressed. I loved the dress, but I was obsessing about whether or not my bra (new since I'd tried on the dress at Macy's) was showing and trying to get the ribbon belt untied because it felt a bit snug. In retrospect, I wish I'd been able to untie it and tie it looser because looking at the pictures, the dress wasn't nearly as flattering as I'd remembered it. And looking at the pictures, I'm not as skinny as I felt. (I must have one of those reverse body image problems. Ha!)

I'm glad I didn't feel it in the moment though. Because in the moment, I felt fabulous. So many of the girls told me I looked "adorable!" We waited backstage while they showed a video about us -- here's me in the video, larger than life on the big screen (the lines are shadows of balloon ribbons hanging in front of the screen):

Then it was show time!

My firefighter was Brandon. He's 36 and in his first year on the fire department. He said he tried for six years to get selected -- and he made the age cut off by 4 days. What a great story! Brandon, and all the firefighters, were so complimentary of all us. Having them there was a nice addition to the day.

It was such a great day, definitely a day on which I felt very loved. I got so many compliments from people at the luncheon and so much love from my Facebook friends who left numerous messages of encouragement at good luck. Everyone should get to have a day like that.

And now that it's over, I need to remember that it's really not over. That there is still is one month left in the Better U challenge and that I still have a long way to go (55 pounds to be exact) to be where I want to be.