It's unofficial

Today was my appointment with the cardiologist for the Better U challenge. Though the 12 weeks of the challenge doesn't officially start until January 1, 2010, as far as Dr. Branyas is concerned it's all systems go from here on out.

All in all, the appointment went well. Dr. Branyas spent a lot of time with me, going over my blood work and discussing my lifestyle habits that need a little, shall we say, tweaking (ok, overhauling).

The good news:

1. My EKG was normal.
2. My blood pressure was only mildly high.

The bad news:

1. My good cholesterol is low.
2. My bad cholesterol is high.
3. My C-reactive protein, which is associated with inflammation that can lead to clogging of the arteries, is almost 3 times what it should be. Dr. Branyas said that 60% of their open heart patients have high bad cholesterol and high CRP.

The hard to swallow news:

1. I need to lose 47 pounds just to be considered "overweight" and not the other "o" word.

Wow. That one was like a punch in the oversized gut. Trust me, I'm well aware of my size and my weight. But looking at it in that way was really a wake up call.

I talked with the good doctor about my food vices -- sugar and fried foods. She said she's never, NEVER, eaten at McDonald's and that once she went into one to use the bathroom and she was sickened by the smell of the oil in the air.

Are you kidding me? That's one of the best parts of McDonald's -- the smell of french fries getting all crispy, soaking up all that offensive oil. But Dr. Branyas assured me that soon I'll find it just as wretched as she does.

When she asked me what I usually order -- a #3 with a Diet Coke, I proudly told her that I always ask for them to only put 1 slice of cheese on my quarter pounder instead of two. Amazingly, Dr. Branyas was underwhelmed by this information.

Then she asked about my exercise routine. I knew it would come to this.

"Oh, I walk about 6 times a day -- from my office to the printer about 100 feet down the hall."

I admitted that I own an elliptical machine and it's located just 24 short stairs from my bedroom. That's when Dr. Branyas laid down the new law. Exercise. Every day. In the morning. Before the shower.

"Tell yourself that you cannot get in the shower until you've exercised," she advised.

Little did she know that not showering might not be such a big threat. I was sitting in her office, after all, unshowered. What can I say? I was running a little behind schedule this morning.

But I agreed. Elliptical before shower. Daily. 10 minutes a day to start is all she asked. That can't be too difficult, right?

So I've decided that since I'm going to be spending so much time with this contraption, the elliptical should have a name. My first thought was Jillian.

I posed the question on Facebook and got Attila and Torture. A few other people took the tack of naming it something more appealing, like Patrick Dempsey, George Clooney and McSteamy. Not a bad idea - spending time with a Hollywood hottie every morning doesn't sound so awful.

But I still haven't settled on anything. Maybe I'll give it a spin tomorrow and see if a name comes to me. And I'm open to your suggestions, so please, lay 'em on me.

The rest of the appointment went well. Dr. Branyas said she expects that by the Go Red for Women luncheon on February 26, I will have lost 20 pounds. (Really?!) I left the office armed with lots to read, a new cookbook and a fast food guide, feeling hopeful, slightly overwhelmed and inexplicably craving McDonald's.