- The button popped off my pants, ricocheted off the counter and hit me in the eye, leaving me temporarily blinded.
- Only my shirts with the wrong-way stripes are clean.
- My teenage daughter said leaving the house in these hip-hugging pants would be a felony.
- My fat dress is at the dry cleaner.
- Dunkin' Donuts was out of maple glazed and I simply can't deal.
- Everyone left the house early and no one is left to help hoist me off the couch.
- When I sit down, my blouse gaps between the buttons and the employee handbook clearly frowns on the showing of too much skin.
- The Food Network is running a marathon of Cupcake Wars today.
- I have to work on my video for the Biggest Loser auditions.
- I'm just too fat to leave the house.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Sorry boss, I can't come to work today because...