Wedding Vows: A Reality Check

It may not be June or February, but love is in the air around here. Tomorrow, we're headed to Cincinnati for my cousin's wedding. Next Thursday, Mike and I will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. Our friends Denise (of Adventures in Painting fame) and Jim just celebrated their 15th yesterday.

So I find myself reminiscing about my wedding, pausing to recall the vows we made:

I, Amy, take you, Mike, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

And vice versa.

And I wonder what those vows would be if we stood before family and friends today and pledged our love to each other. I think they would go something like this:

I, Amy, take you, Mike, to be my husband. I promise:

• to try to always park left of center in the driveway
  
• to not act disappointed when you come home from the Red Box with "Iron Man" instead of "Made of Honor"
• to pretend like I really care that the Cubs have lost two in a row at home in their first chance in 100 years to go to the World Series
• to not try to pass off macaroni-n-cheese as dinner (very often)
• to try not to roll my eyes when you tell me you can't get out of bed because you have a cold -- or to at least turn my back before rolling them
• to encourage you to "have some fruit" when you say you're hungry and want to order a pizza
• to let you sit around in your boxers and watch Serenity once in a while
• to immediately dial 911 when the day comes that you have a stroke hollering at some idiotic call/amazing play in a Colts game

I, Mike, take you, Amy, to be my wife. I promise:

• to believe you when you say you need a new pair of shoes, even though you have 17 pairs in your closet right now
• to fill your gas tank when I see it getting low because I know you don't like to do it
• to not sigh in frustration (too loudly) when you complain that the computer is broken, when really it just needed to be plugged in
• to not smother you with the pillow even though your snoring could wake the dead
• to suggest that we skip dessert, and then to not say anything when you order it anway
• to go to the store for feminine supplies, even if it does cause me to lose my man card
• to put up with your online Scrabble addiction, er, hobby
• to upload your pictures, download your songs and in whatever other ways possible to be your own personal "Geek Squad."

Now that's love.

What would be included in your "reality vows?"