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Friday, February 24, 2012

Well hello, Mrs. 4444s

Mommy's IdeaIt's been a crazy long time since I've done a Friday Fragments post for Mrs. 4444s weekly party. But I'm feeling fragmentish, so I thought it was high time I play along.

We're three days into Lent and I'm feeling the challenge. I gave up Diet Coke, which has been surprisingly easy. But I also gave up Facebook and my words games on Thursdays. I felt like I was being called to give up Facebook entirely for Lent, but I was going kicking and screaming. So I talked it over with a friend and came up with the concept of "Holy Thursdays." It's a day when I step back from all the "noise" and try to be more mindful of God at work in my life. Yesterday was hard -- but with some benefit. I was actually ready for work 20 minutes early because I didn't sit on the couch and nose around Facebook first.

Thanks for all the positive comments about my "Fat Tuesday" post. I wish I could just jump in and make a bunch of big changes at once. But that seems overwhelming. So I'm taking small steps. We'll see how it goes.

Do any of you have a kid that complains about being bullied? How do you decide if it's really bullying or just a sensitive kid? I want to be responsive, but I also don't want to be coddling. Would love some wisdom here.

Winter has arrived -- at least temporarily. It's cold here (in the 30s) and very blustery. And I was just getting used to not wearing my coat again.

PhotobucketNo coats necessary for the awesome trip being given away by Eversave. I don't get anything for telling you about it, but why wouldn't I want to share the chance to win a 6-day vacation in Todos Santos, Mexico? (Well, because I want to win it for myself!) But, I'm sharing anyway. Isn't that nice of me? So nice that I'm sure if you win, you'll want to take me as your guest. Enter by clicking the image to the right. (In case that doesn't work, you can click here too.)

If you are the praying type, I would love some prayers toward two special intentions, that I am able to hear -- and trust -- God's voice in two situations.

Thanks, friends. Hope you have a great weekend. Please stop by Mrs. 4444s place for some more Friday Fragments.

8 comments:

Lana Wallpe said...

Sometimes bullying depends on the age; younger ones can find it hard to tell the difference between teasing and being mean, but honestly if the action is making your child feel bad about him/herself, then you probably want to address it. As a high school teacher, I tried to keep an eye on the people involved, but you can't, so maybe there is a friend you can talk to to get some perspective. You need to sit down with your child and talk about good self esteem and when to ignore a comment and when to tell someone about it. It's hard for a parent to become involved directly because ultimately you want your child to fight his own battles; it has to be between your child, that other person or those persons, and any authority figure supervising the situation if there is one. It's tough as a high school teacher to deal with this and even tougher as a mom of elementary girls. Good luck and always try to keep those lines of communication open.

Lana Wallpe said...

Sometimes bullying depends on the age; younger ones can find it hard to tell the difference between teasing and being mean, but honestly if the action is making your child feel bad about him/herself, then you probably want to address it. As a high school teacher, I tried to keep an eye on the people involved, but you can't, so maybe there is a friend you can talk to to get some perspective. You need to sit down with your child and talk about good self esteem and when to ignore a comment and when to tell someone about it. It's hard for a parent to become involved directly because ultimately you want your child to fight his own battles; it has to be between your child, that other person or those persons, and any authority figure supervising the situation if there is one. It's tough as a high school teacher to deal with this and even tougher as a mom of elementary girls. Good luck and always try to keep those lines of communication open.

Keetha Broyles said...

I don't know what's up with winter this year, but even here on the frozen tundra of Wisconsin we aren't.

traci's mixed bag said...

I feel you on the giving up FB cold turkey, that's pretty much a nightmare. So what I do, is I don't post. I'll read stuff here and there but don't comment or post. I also like the Holy Thursday idea. I will send some prayers up for you my friend.

Sara Broers said...

I am so over Winter- I'm ready for 70's every single day! Sounds like a reasonable request, don't ya think?

J.J. Massa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J.J. Massa said...

I'll send a few prayers your way :) --as for being bullied, I think it happens more than we know as parents. My daughters are all but grown now, but bullying just evolves with age. It's hard for a kid (or anyone) to stand firm and refuse to take it, or to try to ignore it. Still, bullies can scent fear and they seem to feed off of the knowledge that they can get away with it. You might consider telling the "sensitive kid" that a simple or bored comeback will derail the bully. ex: "Seriously?" Or even "I don't get it"

And if it's bullying--telling isn't tattling. it's a service to other would-be victims. (can you tell i'm very anti-bully?)

Good luck with Lent. Great blog!

Old Woman said...

Amy: I have a child who has been the victim of bullying since the 4th grade. He is now in 7th. I can't tell you how it started or why other kids do not like my child. He is a great kid. Can light up any room. I do know that he is a very sensitive kid. I believe you need to begin now to take things seriously. At first we just tried to brush it off and tell our son to just ignore it. I have learned that as soon as the bully gets a rise out of the victim - the reaction is what feeds the bully.

Early in the school year of 5th grade, my son became depressed and communicated thoughts of suicide to our oldest son (8 years apart). We began to see him shut down in all the activities he loved. At that point we sought counseling. --- and feeling like very bad parents at that for not noticing how bad it was and what it was doing to our kid.

At the beginning of 6th grade, we enrolled our son in Karate. For many reasons, but learning self-defense, building of self-esteem and learned discipline to mention a few. By the end of 6th grade, the bullying with words began to turn physical but our son still was not emotionally strong enough or confident to defend himself.

In October of this year, it all clicked an he finally defended himself against an attacker and punched the kid in the face. I know I shouldn't have been happy, but there were Celebrations that night. While physical abuse hasn't happened since that day - I beleive that verbal abuse still haunts our child.

The bully of 2012 isn't the same bully of the '80s (yes I dated myself) Back then it was usually just one big kid who had issues of their own and would attack everyone. Now adays - they run in packs like wolves or paranna. The victim's reaction is what the feed off of without sensitivity or a care for anyones feelings.

I don't know the seriousnless of your child's association with bullying - but I would suggest that you contact your child's school and see if you can get him/her connected ith the school conselor. Someone they can learn to trust; an alli in the school environment.

Sorry for being so long winded. But this is a subject that is dear to my heart. Everytime I hear of a kid who ended their life due to bullying - I think --- I could be that parent and I praise God that for today ... I am blessed.