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Sunday, December 13, 2009

Double the angst

It's really hard to watch your child hurting -- physically or emotionally. It's doubly hard to watch it and know that you caused it.

Last year, Annie played on a club volleyball team. She had a good time and made some friends from other schools that she still keeps up with today. She was looking forward to playing on the team again this year. It's not an inexpensive venture, but this is one sport she really likes, so we've agreed to it.

In my head, the registration deadline was December 10. So last week, on December 8, I pulled out the registration materials, ready to complete them, write the check and drop everything off. My stomach sank when I looked at the materials again and read, "Registration deadline December 3." It sank even further when I saw, "Registration deadline is firm. If registrations come in after the deadline, they will be placed on a waiting list."

So I typed up a letter, explaining my error, hoping it would be enough to make a different and hoping that maybe the teams wouldn't be full. If my stomach sank when I read the deadline, it crashed to my feet and oozed out my toes last night when I got a voice mail from the coach saying that she was sorry but the teams are indeed full.

She'll hold on to my check for a few days in case someone decides not to participate. It's probably wrong of me to pray that if some 7th grade girl is destined to break her arm in the next day or two, it's one of the girls signed up for that club team, isn't it?

I was just sick when I went to bed, anticipating having to tell Annie the news. I waited for the right moment (is there ever a right moment for bad news?), which happened to be after we returned from my in-laws house. She was rightfully upset. There were tears. There were shouts. There were declarations of just quitting volleyball all together then. And there was me feeling like a total heel for being the cause of all of this.

I know that my calendar error did not ruin her life (even though it might feel like that to her now). But I do feel bad. Mike is going to go to the parents meeting tonight anyway to talk to the coach and see if there isn't any way they can make room for one more player. And we're looking into the possibility of another club team.

But it might take some time before both Annie and I can get over the fact that, in this instance, I let her down.


Eternal Lizdom said...

Oh, that's rough. I can feel your pain. And I know how hard it is to hurt your child.

On the other hand... while you didn't put the responsibility on her... maybe giving her more of the responsibility in the future would be better. She is old enough and smart enough. When the decision is made that she can participate, let her be in charge of making sure you get the paperwork done by the deadline. Give her responsibility and control over some of it- since it is her opportunity.

Mike Magan said...

I wanted to stick up for you when I heard Annie unload, but I know she was upset too. The kids take for granted how much we do for them, it seems unfair of you to be too harsh on yourself for missing a detail. I appreciate how much you keep track of.

For the record, there is a good chance Annie will get on the team because she is #1 on the waiting list according to the coach at the meeting last night.

Nate's Mom said...

Awe Amy, hugs. We all experience this from time to time. And honestly, it is good for our children to see that we are human and make mistakes. All we can do is apologize and do our best to fix. Someday, when she is a mom and does something similar, you'll be able to confort her by saying "remember when...and you turned out wonderful young woman anyway."

Hang in there. Parenting is tough. I hope a spot opens up for her; and she appreciates the effort Mom and Dad made to resolve their error.

Sheri in Ca

Mrs4444 said...

That is really a bummer. I hope she can get in...

adraider21 said...

I'm sorry Annie Maganie! Hey! She could play for Ritter Club Volleyball! WITH ME! =]