My terrible, horrible, no good, very bad trip to Target

I went to Target tonight. It's usually my happy place. Tonight was a different story.

I was already in a bad mood because one of my offspring made a boneheaded decision. Do they have military schools in Australia? But nothing like a little retail therapy to fix a bad mood, right?

Well, I needed to pick up some prescriptions from the pharmacy. The pharmacy that is located in such tight quarters that I am certain  whoever planned the layout of this Target store has never actually maneuvered a grocery-laden cart through barely wide enough aisles. I started to turn down one aisle...jam-packed with people. So I made the turn into the next aisle. There was some guy in scrubs looking at pain relievers. Dude, can't you get those at work?

"Excuse me," I said. He barely looked up and mumbled something, which I'm guessing was "no," because he and his cart stood there, taking their half out of the middle of the aisle. "Excuse me," I said again, this time not waiting for him to move and just forging ahead. He got the idea and inched his cart over, though still not far enough for both of our carts to fit. "He's probably related to the guy who designed the pharmacy," I thought while lifting my cart's wheels past his.

I finally made it the pharmacy and asked for my waiting prescriptions. The pharmacist found them, rang them up and said "That will be $721."

"What the?!" The ridiculous total was enough to make me sick. So I picked up two of the five prescriptions, told him I'd be back after payday and made a mental note to call the insurance company to see a.) if there are any cheaper options they will actually pay for, b.) how close I am to meeting our deductible, and c.) see how much drugs cost in Australia.

Did I mention that Robbie was with me? And he was intent on finding stuff to put in his locker? He was excited at the prospect of buying something for him, so he was dancing in the aisles, touching every box and bag in front of him and generally stomping on my last nerve, even though he was really doing nothing wrong.

Then we had to buy stuff to pack in the lunch boxes. So, I pulled out my phone and started adding items to my Target Cartwheel savings app as I dropped them into my cart. And then, my phone died. There went my instant saving and my Target mobile coupons. Argh.

They were out of the flavor variety the kids like in the multipack of chips. Of course; by this point I was feeling like I'd been singled out for persecution. I was so frustrated that I didn't even bother to look at the prices of what I put in the cart. Budget be damned.

Peanut butter, applesauce, chips and carrots finally acquired, we headed to the school supply section. For the love of all that is holy, I KNOW better than this. I KNOW that the school supply section is the WORST place to be right before school starts. It's a collection of frantic mothers, impatient children, and shell-shocked Target employees trying to keep the shelves stocked.

And yet, for some inexplicable reason, there I was, pushing my cart down aisles (wider than the pharmacy, thank you Jesus!) full of things that will make for a successful year at school. I found the "locker decor" section. Did you know they sell shag carpets and chandeliers for lockers? Because Mitzi's science book will be so much more bearable if it's surrounded by modern touches of wastes of money.

Robbie didn't find what he was looking for; I'm not sure he knew what he was looking for other than "cool stuff for my locker." So we headed for the check out, where the lady in front of me apparently was taking her Sunday drive in the Target check out on a Wednesday afternoon.

"Do you have any coupons or gift cards today?" the cashier asked me when it was finally my turn. I told her my dead phone tale of woe. She commiserated. I told her about my $700 pharmacy bill. She was sympathetic. When she rang up my York peppermint patty, she didn't even ask if I wanted it in the bag or with me. She just handed it to me because she knew nights like this one called for chocolate ASAP.

That cashier was the bright spot in my trip to Target and I headed for the exit feeling slightly better.

Until I got to the parking lot and realized I had no idea where I'd parked. It might be in Australia.

If you buy a kid some school supplies

If you buy a kid some school supplies, he's going to be super excited to open them.

When he opens them, they are going to be spread all over the family room floor.

When they are spread all over the floor, you'll tell the kid to put them in his backpack (not a new one because we just bought this one last year, doggone it).

When he puts them in his backpack, they will be all safe and ready for the first day of school (which isn't for another 15 days) until...

The kid decides he needs to take them out of his backpack so he can use the backpack to take with him to SkyZone. You'll tell the kid to put the school supplies back in his backpack and find another bag to take to SkyZone. Then you will leave for work, not being wise enough to tell your spouse that the kid should not, under any circumstances, take his backpack to SkyZone.

So of course, the kid takes his backpack -- filled with $857 worth of school supplies (so I'm might be exaggerating a little) -- to the Boys & Girls Club with him and then to the club's field trip to SkyZone.

And...say it with me...LEAVES. THE. BACKPACK. THERE.

Yes, the backpack that was filled with school supplies. The backpack that was supposed to stay safely on the bedroom floor for another 15 days.

I'm going on a field trip too. To the liquor store.

Just fragments

That's what I've got left after this week. Just fragments. A brain download, if you will. And I can do that, thanks to Mrs. 4444s.

Putting out an ABB: Hello officer, I'd like to report an ABB. Yes, that's right. An "assault with a binding brassiere." I purchased a new bra this week. I wanted a new dress, but what I ended up with was a new bra. Anyway, the lady at the pricey store measured me and said I'm "a 41 on the dot, so let's go with a 40."  I'm always up for smaller numbers. But now, after two days of wearing this torture device, I'm pretty sure the durn thing has bruised my sternum.

Play it again, Skeeter: I saw "The Help" on Wednesday night. Great movie! There aren't many I'd pay to see in the theater twice, but this one I would. It was fairly true to the book. Oh, and go easy on the Diet Coke because it's a LONG movie and you don't want to miss anything.

Mason City, Iowa, anyone? Do you live within driving distance of Mason City, Iowa? It's 1/2-way between St. Paul, MN and Des Moines, IA. Anyway, I'll be there in late September speaking at the Upper Midwest Social Media Conference. My topic: Privacy in Blogging and Social Media: How Much Is Too Much? If you've never been to a social media conference, this might be a good one to start with. Admission is only $50.

Home improvement (dis)harmony: Well, we've arrived at no real decision on the paint colors for the first floor. I did convince Mike to postpone the painting there. We're having the master bed and bath painted, but we haven't quite agreed on which room will be which color. I think a Serious Gray in the bedroom and Expressive Plum in the bathroom. Mike wants the opposite. Also, he apparently thinks little fairies are going to come in the night and prep the house for the work to be done. Although the first floor walls won't be painted, they will be painting the ceilings this weekend. Do I have to take down the curtains for them to paint the ceiling? This little fairy is going to need a lot of Diet Coke to pull this all-nighter.

Back to school: Most kids around here started school this week. That's way too early. Annie starts high school on Tuesday. The boys don't start until a week later. Tonight was parent orientation night at the high school. It was a little weird looking around the room, wondering who would be the parents we'll get to know well over the next 4 years. As we listened to the head of school and several of the teachers, I felt like we'd definitely made the right decision about where to send Annie for high school. That felt good.

Time to get a move on in getting this house ready for phase 1 of its renovation. Hope you have a great weekend!

Off to a good start

The kids started back to school this week. Robbie had been counting down the days 'til school since there were still 62 days left. Annie, being part of the ruling class in the school this year, was thrilled to go back. Charlie, however, did not get excited until the day before school started -- when he got a new pair of Nike high tops (on sale 50%, of course).

Getting everyone moving on the first day was no trouble. In fact, Annie woke up at 4:30am. Even Charlie popped right up when I woke him, which will be the last day that happens for the rest of the school year, I'm sure. The clothes were laid out, lunches packed and backpacks lined up at the front door the night before -- all of which probably won't happen again anytime soon either.

Once breakfast was finished, I sent the kids back upstairs to brush their teeth. Annie and Charlie returned and were ready to go when Robbie yelled downstairs, "Mom? What am I doing upstairs?" Note to Robbie's teacher: he may have some issues with short-term memory.

Finally, with Robbie's teeth brushed and the other two anxious to leave, it was time for the obligatory 1st day of school picture:

In the car, Annie chattered, Robbie drew a picture and Charlie improved new lyrics to the song "Hey" by Mitchell Musso all about how excited he was to go to school, but only because it was a half-day.

When we got to school, I parked in the back to walk the kids in. Well, really, to walk Robbie in. I asked Charlie if he wanted me to come to his classroom. Surprisingly, he said yes. Before I could even ask Annie, she told me in no uncertain terms that I was not to stop by her homeroom.

Robbie was thrilled to find his desk next to two friends and couldn't wait to show the teacher his new lunchbox. I felt downright joyful walking out of his classroom, seeing how confident and assured he was. It was a great start to the school year.

Next, I stopped by Charlie's class, said hello to his teacher and went to his desk to wish him a good day. I thought I might be pushing my luck by asking him if I could take his picture. But I was feeling lucky, so I asked anyway. This was the result:

From there, I needed to go to the school office. The path I followed to get there took me past Annie's classroom. I saw her homeroom teacher in the hallway and said, "I've been forbidden to stop in." He replied, "Oh, go in and give her a big kiss!"

Not wanting to embarrass her completely, I opted not to do that. But I did peek my head in the door and said, "Have a good day, Annie."

She gave me an icy stare and curtly said, "Ok, Mom. BYE!"

I giggled a little on the way to the office.And that's how we started the 2010-2011 school year!

Pit stop

Hey folks! I have time for just a quick check-in tonight. School starts back up tomorrow -- lunches to be made, socks and underwear to be thrown into the dryer, checks to be written, basketball and volleyball carpools to contemplate. You know the drill.

Plus, the Better U challenge officially gets underway tomorrow too. I had a chance to be on the WISH-TV morning news today with Dee Leonard, another challenger, talking about the program. (Don't get me started on "Do I really look like that?!")

Check out the Better U widget in my sidebar and consider joining me in this effort. Also, check out my latest post on the Indy GoRed BetterU blog. You'll see that I'm still counting on rendezvousing with Denzel every morning, which means I really MUST get to bed now.

Catch up with you tomorrow!

Overwhelmed

This was the status update I posted on my Facebook page yesterday:

The convergence of a zillion deadlines at work and the start of school for the kids just might push me over the edge.

I have three -- wait, four -- big projects at work that have drop dead August deadlines. The kids go back to school in less than two weeks.

I feel like there is so much we didn't do this summer and I am finding it hard to find a day to take off to do something fun so that when they sit down in their classrooms to write the inevitable "What I did on my summer vacation" essay, they'll say something more than "I did chores and watched television."

(To be fair to myself, they did swim a lot and we did a few, small "staycation" activities. But I'm having a moment, so just let me go with it, will ya?)

Ok. I realize that wallowing in a moment of whining and self-pity only goes so far.
Someone replied to my Facebook post: "Take a deep breath....or have a cocktail!"

Since it's only 7:45am and I have no champagne or OJ in the house, I'm going with the deep breath route and trying to count my blessings. So here's my list of 10 good things that, overwhelmed or not, make me smile:

1. My nephew is being baptized on Sunday and we'll be together with all my siblings, their spouses and their children.
2. Back-to-school means back to Friday morning "therapy" with girlfriends at Panera.
3. I parked my car in the garage last night, which is significant because two days ago that wouldn't have been possible. But Mike busted his hump and cleaned it out.
4. Next week, I'll be attending Blog Indiana and get to spend 2 whole days with other blog-lovin' nerds.
5. McDonald's large drinks are still only $1.
6. Dairy Queen chocolate dipped cones are less than $2.
7. All these crazy deadlines mean that I have a job at a time when many do not.
8. I got on the scale yesterday for the first time in a long time and I didn't weigh any more than I had previously. Again, a huge accomplishment, especially given #6 above.
9. My cleaning lady will be back on August 31. We'd loaned her out for the summer to some friends b/c I couldn't afford to pay babysitters and Jane.
10. Our good friend Mary came to visit last night. Her visits always leave me laughing.

Think I might need to print out this list and tape it up in a few strategic places, so when I'm wigging out of the next couple of weeks I can have some perspective. And if that doesn't work, I'll probably go with the cocktail.

*Poof!* It's gone!

Today was payday. I always feel so rich on payday. We go out to eat without thinking too much about it because we have money! I think of doing things like getting a pedicure (desperately needed!) and buying new shoes with which to show off my post-pedicure pretty toes.

But, because I only get paid once a month, today's is the last paycheck I'll get before the kids go back to school. So in addition to paying the routine monthly bills, we have to buy all the stuff that comes with back to school:

• New tennies for all three kids
• New backpack for Robbie (I want him to feel like he's getting a fresh start for his kindergarten repeat.)
• Navy blue polo shirts for Annie
• Buckets of bleach to try to salvage the boys' white shirts from last year (Can bleach really get rid of the marker, chocolate milk, dirt, snot, and blood stains?)
• The traditional school supplies -- markers, crayons, protractors, rulers, folders, etc.
• Blue icee packs for lunch boxes b/c the ones I bought last year are long gone

What's left of my paycheck will go to soccer fees, gymnastics lessons, OT for Robbie, etc. Before you know it, what seemed like a good chunk of money on my direct deposit slip will be gone.

Not everything will be paid in full. Out of necessity, I've become comfortable with paying for things over time. Kind of like life on lay-away. Thank goodness for Mike's Target checks (he gets paid twice a month) which we'll use for gas and groceries.

Hmmm...maybe I should start playing the lottery.