Mid-afternoon thoughts on turning 43

It's my 43rd birthday. Here's what I think about that...

1. I'm not sure I feel 43, though I'm not sure what 43 is supposed to feel like. My spirit feels younger, not super young, but maybe 38. Or 40. My body? Well, that feels 57. (see #2)
2. Today I called to schedule an MRI of my neck and my mammogram. Nothing says "Happy Birthday to me" like a little controlled radiation.
3. When someone asks what I want for my birthday, I finally understand why my dad always answered that question with "nothing." There's really nothing I am coveting. A few things I would enjoy, but I'm more interested in getting rid of stuff than acquiring more.
4. OK, if I have to name one thing, I'd say a mani-pedi. It feels great, lasts a while and doesn't have to be stored or dusted.
5. Mom's birthday is an excellent behavior modification tool. When Charlie was slow to get out of bed this morning, Robbie said "Get up! It's Mom's birthday." Annie used it to get the boys to stop fighting -- "Knock it off, it's Mom's birthday!"
6. In the order of priorities, the hierarchy today is Robbie & Mike's soccer practice, Annie's play, Mom's birthday.
7. It's much better when your birthday falls just after payday instead of just before. That's ok. I can wait to celebrate tomorrow.
8. Every time there is a card-giving occasion, Mike puts a York Peppermint Patty in the card for me. It's a small gesture, but I love it.
9. I'm 43 and I'm having a mid-life hair crisis. Is there really any point to keep growing it out? 
10. Being wished a happy birthday still feels good -- after all these years. So far, I've gotten 3 birthday phone calls, more than 150 birthday Facebook messages, and a little personal birthday greeting from Mike. (Blush.)

Rocking the RAKs

A little over a week ago, I invited you all to help me celebrate my 40th birthday by doing a random act of kindness for someone else. Let me just say that you did not disappoint! More than a dozen people wrote to tell me what they had done in honor of my birthday.

Now, let me say that I'm sure that some (probably most) of you would have done these nice things anyway. But if my "invitation" encouraged you a little bit, then I am happy. As I promised, I won't tell who did what -- this celebration was not about recognition. But I do want to let you know all the wonderful ways you helped me recognize this milestone birthday:

• Made cupcakes with her daughter and delivered them, along with a balloon, to single women who live in their building
• Made several phone calls/e-mails to connect someone caring for her father with assisted living resources when the caregiver indicated she was struggling to find the right situation
• Anonymously delivered a cold drink to a loved one who was getting her hair done at a salon
• Allowed 2 people to go in front of her at the store because she had a return and didn't want them to have to wait
• Donated $40 to the Missionary Sisters of the Immaculate Mary in honor of my 40th birthday
• Fixed an extra serving of the family dinner and took it to the single guy living next door
• Gave an extra $1 to the shuttle attendant so someone could ride the State Fair shuttle for free
• Helped the maintenance/cleaning woman clean out the apartment building's garbage chute
• Sent a birthday card to a soldier
• Donated $40 worth of food and supplies to the local humane society (she even got a thank you note for me. Check it out below.)
• Sent a necklace with a message of hope to a friend's young niece who is battling leukemia
• Invited two people to dinner at the last minute when their previous dinner invitation was canceled
• Gave someone a free coffee at Dunkin Donuts

How wonderful is that?! Thanks to everyone who joined in to make this a fabulous birthday celebration. And thanks to Joy for Your Journey for the inspiration.

The year of living...

sanely? consciously? freely? appreciatively?

I haven't figured out what to call it yet, but today marks the beginning of my last year before I turn 40. I've been thinking about this for a while, about how I want to make this year "count" and how I want this to be my year of great change.

There is a lot of anticipation and hopefulness and weight that I've placed on this birthday -- and on the days that will fall between it and the big 4-0. Kind of like a New Year's Eve anticipation, where you look out on the year ahead with a hopefulness of the things the year will bring, the things that you will do differently or better or not at all.

I'm aware that I could be setting myself up for huge disappointment if the things I'm envisioning don't come to fruition. But all of what I am considering is within my own control, so if there is disappointment and regret, it will be no one's fault but my own.

Some of the things that are on my list to do (or not) this year are things you could probably guess. But I'm not going to say them here, because I am accountable to myself in this journey. I don't want to get all puffed up and make some sweeping declarations, then have to be concerned with disappointing other people if, at the end of the year, I don't measure up to what I said I would do.

So far, the year of living "whatever," has gotten off to a terrific start. On Wednesday night, my friend Ellen dropped by the house with a surprise for me. She remembered my birthday rant last year and had marked it on her calendar to make sure that didn't happen again. So she came bearing Diet Coke, chocolate cake and a birthday card and balloon.

Where would we be without our girlfriends? Ellen, you are a peach. Absolutely. Thanks so much! (And thanks for signing the contract by the front door that you won't tell anyone about the state of my house when you dropped by.)

And last night, I went to bed at 8:30pm and stayed in bed the whole night. That's pretty much unheard of. Just a little birthday gift to myself.

So here it is. My 39th birthday. Celebrate with me by having some cake wherever you are.