Put your party planning hat on

In just less than three weeks, Mike will turn 40 years old. He wants a party. And truthfully, given the year we've had so far, he NEEDS a party. But I'm at a bit of a loss at what to do.

I thought about taking a group of people out to the baseball game. I considered renting out a theater for a showing of Star Wars or some equally nerdy movie, although I'm not sure you can actually do that.

Oh, and there's that little detail where he currently is unemployed and money is kind of tight. (Although he does have some hopeful prospects out there, so that could change...)

He had the oh-so-helpful suggestion of renting a replica of the Dukes of Hazzard's General Lee and nemesis sheriff's car and parking them in my front yard. Yes, he is turning 40, not 14.

Anyway, a home party would probably be the most cost-effective, but perhaps a little more work to pull it off than I'm hoping to do. I still have the stable from the Christmas nativity sitting in the family room if that gives you an idea of what it would take to get this house party-ready.

So...no idea is a bad idea. What's been the most fun 40th birthday party you've attended? What kind of party would you want to be invited to? (That's no guarantee of an invitation.) How would you want to celebrate a milestone birthday?

Squeezed

I had my mammogram yesterday. I really didn't intend to get one this year; since I had a baseline screening mammogram last year, I figured I was good to go for a few years. But my doctor encouraged me to do it, especially because I did have to have a repeat scan last time around.

It was also not my intention to make my mammogram coincide with national breast cancer awareness month. It just kind of worked out that way. My doctor's appointment was in early September. It took me three weeks to get around to scheduling the mammogram, which by then they were scheduling two weeks out, which landed me smack dab in the middle of breast cancer awareness month.

My appointment was at 7:40am -- crazily, my 3rd stop of the day. So I got up bright and early to shower. After I did the shampoo and conditioner thing to my head, I started shaving my legs. It wasn't until I was finishing up the second leg that I remembered I was having a mammogram today, not a pap smear. I was concentrating on the wrong lady parts. I totally could have gotten away with hairy legs for this occasion.

The entrance to the hospital was decked out in so much rosy pink that I laughed as I thought of the scene in "Steel Magnolias" where Shelby, describing her wedding, said "My colors are 'blush' and 'bashful.'" And her mom interjects, "Her colors are pink and pink. It looks like the sanctuary's been sprayed with Pepto Bismol."

The lobby of the Women's Diagnostic Center was empty, except for the receptionist, who was wearing pink, of course. She was quite friendly and we chatted about the fact that it's almost the middle of October and I don't have enough of my Christmas shopping done yet, but that she is finished with the shopping for her 3-1/2 year old daughter, though has no idea what to get her husband. She took my information and printed out a wristband for me to wear. As she put it on my arm, I glanced down and lost my breath for just a moment.

There, just under my name, it said "Age: 40." That's the first time I think I've seen that number, in reference to my time on earth, printed right in front of me. It wasn't "Happy 40th Birthday!" It was just a cold, hard fact. Age: 40. I think that might have been the hardest part of the whole experience.

Shortly after I'd re-gained my breath, Andrea came to lead me back to the exam area. I think she might have been the one to do my mammogram the last time, but if she remembered me or my breasts, she didn't say so. She opened a little dressing room for me, set out a gown, instructed me to remove everything from the waist up and put the gown on so it opened in the front.

I did as I was told, neatly folding my clothes and leaving them on the bench, as if I would be awarded points for tidiness. I slipped into the gown and was pleasantly surprised to see that it wasn't one of those flimsy cotton jobbies that leave you freezing, which is not exactly the way you want it to be when some stranger is going to be deliberately handling your ta tas. No, this gown was soft -- like Karen Neuberger jammies soft -- and warm. It made me want to curl up and take a nap.

Napping, of course, was not on the agenda. Rather, the agenda was full of small talk and instructions to lean forward, chin up, hold here, don't breathe and let me know if that's too much pressure. The chin up instruction was possibly the most annoying because I really wanted to see if, like last year, my breast flattened in the machine looked like chicken in shrink wrap. In the quick glance that I got, I did notice that breasts look bigger all squished like a pancake then they do when they are free and reaching for the floor.

When I was finished, Andrea told me I should hear about the results by Thursday and gave me a complimentary nylon backpack in honor of breast cancer awareness month. I wished she'd given me that snuggly, warm gown instead.

'Bout sums it up

Saturday night we had a party to celebrate my 40th birthday. Initially, I didn't want a party. Then I thought ok, maybe something simple. Then it got BIG. But in the end, it turned out just right: family, friends, food, fun...

I was so amazed at some of the people who came to help me properly acknowledge this milestone. My aunt and uncle drove all the way from Cleveland! There were friends I've known for years and people I've been more recently lucky to meet. It felt a little bit like a wedding, trying to get around and visit with everyone and make sure they were having a good time.

The party was one of those events that left me enjoying the memories of it even as I woke up the next morning. And as I thought about it, I realized it captured a big part of who I am in just 4 words:

Diet Coke: (My sisters collaborated to create this Diet Coke "cake" made of 40 cans of the good stuff!)

A few other folks know me too well, too...

Chocolate: (This was just one of the representations of chocolate. There was another chocolate cake, ChocoVine wine, brownies and an entire gift pack of chocolate!)

Scrabble: (How did I miss this at Target? I LOVE Scrabble and I'm at Target all the time. But somehow I did, which made this beach towel Scrabble game a super fun surprise!)

For the record, we said "no gifts." But they were sure fun to receive anyway! But honestly, the most fun was just watching who was coming through the door and spending the evening with people I love being around.

If you want the recipe for my sister-in-law's Italian beef, which we served as mini-sandwiches, click on over to my FB fan page. She's a really good cook (unlike some of us) and you're gonna love it!

Rocking the RAKs

A little over a week ago, I invited you all to help me celebrate my 40th birthday by doing a random act of kindness for someone else. Let me just say that you did not disappoint! More than a dozen people wrote to tell me what they had done in honor of my birthday.

Now, let me say that I'm sure that some (probably most) of you would have done these nice things anyway. But if my "invitation" encouraged you a little bit, then I am happy. As I promised, I won't tell who did what -- this celebration was not about recognition. But I do want to let you know all the wonderful ways you helped me recognize this milestone birthday:

• Made cupcakes with her daughter and delivered them, along with a balloon, to single women who live in their building
• Made several phone calls/e-mails to connect someone caring for her father with assisted living resources when the caregiver indicated she was struggling to find the right situation
• Anonymously delivered a cold drink to a loved one who was getting her hair done at a salon
• Allowed 2 people to go in front of her at the store because she had a return and didn't want them to have to wait
• Donated $40 to the Missionary Sisters of the Immaculate Mary in honor of my 40th birthday
• Fixed an extra serving of the family dinner and took it to the single guy living next door
• Gave an extra $1 to the shuttle attendant so someone could ride the State Fair shuttle for free
• Helped the maintenance/cleaning woman clean out the apartment building's garbage chute
• Sent a birthday card to a soldier
• Donated $40 worth of food and supplies to the local humane society (she even got a thank you note for me. Check it out below.)
• Sent a necklace with a message of hope to a friend's young niece who is battling leukemia
• Invited two people to dinner at the last minute when their previous dinner invitation was canceled
• Gave someone a free coffee at Dunkin Donuts

How wonderful is that?! Thanks to everyone who joined in to make this a fabulous birthday celebration. And thanks to Joy for Your Journey for the inspiration.

RAK anyone?

Last Saturday, which happened to be the 40th anniversary of the day I was born, I invited you all to help me celebrate by performing a random act of kindness in honor of the occasion and reporting back to me. I'm calling it 4th Frog's Fab 40 Fest.

I've heard from a few people who did things that ranged from small to big. One of them made a bit teary. One was absolutely heart-felt. And another was so simple, yet I know so appreciated. I heard from a lot of other people who said they loved the idea and definitely wanted to participate. So how's it coming on your end? (In case you're shy, when I share the RAKs that were done, I won't share names of who did it.)

As for me, I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I want to do. And I have to admit that I'm not finding it so easy to commit a random act of kindness. It's not that I'm not nice to people, because I think that I am. But one thing I'm learning about myself through this is that maybe I'm not as other-centered as I should be. It seems that it's after I've pulled away from the drive-thru, after I've made it to my desk at work, after other opportunities have passed me by, that I think "Oh! I could have done that."

This eye toward myself has been something that I've kind of been feeling has been out of whack in my life for a while. I used to be the one who was constantly volunteering, always busy at church or with social groups, doing, doing, doing. But in the past several years, that's not been the case. I've become absorbed in my own life and haven't really sought out opportunities to look beyond myself.

Some of that is an occupational hazard for a mom of three kids who are busy with their own activities. Some of that is the result of having a job, where I didn't when the kids were younger. And some of it is the lack of effort on my part to see past my own family and my own circumstances.

The result of this focus on myself, my life, my trials and even my successes is that I think I'm not as patient, joyful, grateful, giving, happy as I could be.

So, I will do something to contribute to the Fab 40 Fest. But more importantly, I think this exercise has been a gift to myself -- the gift of realizing how internally focused I've been and much richer life can be if I just look past my own nose.

4th Frog's Fab 40 Fest

I've been thinking about how to celebrate my 40th birthday for quite some time now. If you read my earlier post today, you've seen that I tried the blue hair thing. But that didn't feel quite right. I've contemplated getting a tattoo, but I'm not convinced that's the way to go either.

I think part of the reason I've had trouble deciding how to mark this occasion is that I'm not lamenting the loss of my youth. I don't mind being 40. Mostly, I'm in a mild state of disbelief that I could have reached this milestone already.

It wasn't until Momza directed me to the best 40th birthday party ever, that I figured out how I wanted to celebrate. And I need your help!

You are hereby officially invited to attend 4th Frog's Fab 40 Fest. Participating is easy...

Step 1: Wherever you are, wherever you live, work or play, I invite you to perform at least one random act of kindness in honor of my birthday. Involve your family if you wish. You can tell the recipient why you're doing it. Or you can just think a good thought for me while you're doing it anonymously. Complete your task between now and Friday Sunday, August 29.

For some ideas, read the best 40th birthday party link above or consider one of these:

1. Pick up the tab for someone's lunch or parking garage ticket.
2. Go to the local cemetery and tend to a grave that looks like it doesn't get much attention.
3. Thank a soldier in uniform for his or her service.
4. Write a letter to a soldier or a prison inmate.
5. Smile and offer some help to a mom who looks like she's frazzled by her kids at the mall.
6. Donate boxed or canned goods to the local food pantry.
7. Leave bowls of wrapped candy or fresh fruit in the waiting room of the ICU at a nearby hospital.
8. Stop by a nursing home and visit with someone who doesn't often get visitors.
9. Drop a bag of groceries to someone standing on the street corner begging for food or money.
10. Set aside some time to specifically pray for someone who is struggling or sick or in trouble, maybe someone you see on the news. 

Step 2: Come back to this post or go to the 4th Frog Fan Page on Facebook and tell us what you did. What was the reaction of the recipient? How did you feel? If you feel ok about it, take some photos of your RAK. Post them on the 4th Frog Facebook page or e-mail them to me at 4thfrog70 (at) gmail (dot) com.

Step 3: On Friday, August 27, I'll conclude the 4th Frog's Fab 40 Fest by sharing some of the wonderful stories and pictures you share with me.

Optional Step 4: Share this on your blog, FB page or Twitter account. Link back to this post. This is one party where there can't be too many guests!

I've gotten birthday greetings from more than 50 people on Facebook alone (and its only noon), plus multiple phone calls and IRL well wishes. Think about all the good that could be done if even 1/2 of those people were to join in 4th Frog's Fab 40 Fest! I hope you'll be one of them.

Blue and back

I said I would do it. On the occasion of my 40th birthday, I decided to color my hair blue. In the absence of a stylist willing to bleach my dark brown locks white and then dye them blue, I resorted to a can of blue hair spray.

 

Annie told me I was sabotaging her social life. Robbie asked me if I could please take a shower because my hair was creepy. Charlie didn't appear to notice. Mike just laughed. 

I did it because I'm 40 and I can do what I want to. Which is also why I washed it out four hours later:

To be honest, I liked the color. But my hair was the consistency of straw, my head smelled like an AquaNet factory, and my scalp was starting to burn and itch, which just wouldn't do at all. So I washed it out and am left contemplating just how I want to greet this new decade of my life.

Maybe a tattoo isn't such a crazy idea after all...

Not your typical blue hair

Yesterday, Mike turned 39. All day long he made a point of saying to anyone who called to wish him a happy birthday, "I can' t believe I'm 39, but Amy will be 40 in August!"

Yep. In just about 10 weeks, I'll enter a new decade of my life. I've been giving some thought as to how I'd like to mark the occasion. Back in February (when I was still feeling Go Red invincible), I talked about doing a triathalon. Calmer heads -- and too much chips and salsa -- have prevailed and that is not going to happen.

Then I went back to my idea about getting a tattoo. But I don't really know what I would have tattooed on my body. I could do the frog from my blog header, but what if blogging turns out to be like macrame? All the rage for a while until nobody's doing it anymore and one day I look down at my hip and wonder why there's an amphibian on it.

But there is something that I've been saying since before I was 30 that I'm going to do when I turn 40. I was reminded of it when Annie was talking about Katy Perry at the MTV Music Awards yesterday:

Katy's do was courtesy of a wig. But ever since I saw a gorgeous shade of blue in the haircolor swatch book about 12 years ago, I've said that I want to dye my hair bright blue for my 40th birthday. My hair stylist at the time would have none of it. A months ago I talked to my current stylist who tried to tell me how hard it would be.

"We'd have to bleach your hair first and then do the blue," she said, not acting the least bit interested in doing so.

For her part, Annie is mortified at the idea. But I am intrigued.

I think it would be a great little satirical jab at getting older -- you know, becoming a "blue hair." Of course, I'd have to get a very sassy short haircut to carry off the blue. (My sisters are reaching for their cell phones and computers to talk me out of it as I type.)

I'm sure there are other ways to celebrate milestone birthdays, but this one really appeals to me. And it would happen to coincide with the start of the Indianapolis Colts season, so it would be a two-for-one deal. But I am open to other suggestions.

I have until late August to decide...and to find a stylist who will do it for me.

Pigs in the sky

There must be pigs flying somewhere because, for the third day this week, I just finished exercising. If you follow me on Twitter or are my Facebook friend, this won't be news to you, but I thought I'd let my 4th Frog friends in on my secret.

Now, I realize there are millions of people who get up and exercise every day without feeling the need to announce it to the world. But people, I'm after some positive reinforcement here. Exercise does not thrill me, what with all the heavy breathing and sweating and sore muscles. However, I've started a personal campaign to not die before I turn 40, so I figure exercise has to be part of the package.

And let me 'fess up about the term "exercise." I am not hitting the gym. I am not doing Jazzercise. I am not lifting weights. I am lacing up my tennies and going for a walk around the neighborhood. That's as far as I can go right now. By the way, if you live in my neighborhood and are leaving home early in the morning, please watch out for me. I tend to walk the first 5 or 10 minutes with my eyes mostly closed until I can wake up a bit.

Truth be told, I'm kind of enjoying this exercise thing. Well, not so much the aforementioned heavy breathing and sweating part, but the quiet and solitude part. I always thought I should find a neighbor to go walking with me in the morning, but I like having that time to let my brain hang out.

I've been walking sans iPod since I leave mine at work. Plus, then I'd have to hold it as I'm walking and my carpal tunnel would act up and it would become more of a distraction. Unless I pulled a "mom" and tucked it into a fanny pack, which would totally embarrass my kids -- even if they aren't with me while I'm walking. So, instead I sing (mostly to myself), I pray, I run through things I need to do (though I'm trying to keep that to a minimum).

Interestingly, walking with me, myself and I has been somewhat of a mental exercise as well. I find that the quicker my pace, the more frenzied my thoughts become. So I try to keep a good pace while keeping my mind slowed and thoughtful. It's not as easy as it sounds.

Now I realize that I'm going on as though I've got some experience or expertise to share about exercise. And I realize that it's only been three days, days on which the weather has been wonderfully cool. (Can I keep this up mid-August when it's 80 degrees at 7am?). I don't mean to come off smugly or all "Woohoo! Look at me, I'm all that and a bag of fat-free, salt-free pretzels."

I just figured you might like an explanation for the pigs flying by your window.