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Monday, May 4, 2009

Mean girl

I have a confession to make. I'm kind of a mean girl. Yes, really. Me. I know you're all probably shocked. But I am.

Now, if you were to meet me at a dinner party, I'd be very nice to you. I'm only mean to you if I already know you and love you. And I'm not mean in a horrible, witchy, backstabbing kind of way. But in a "wouldn't it be funny if..." sort of way.

I already told you about the joke I played on a co-worker, which sort of falls into the "mean" (but funny) category.

This is not really a new trait. When I was about seven years old or so, we lived in a house that had a laundry chute from my parents' closet down to a closet on the first floor. I told my sister Shelley to stand under the chute and wait for a surprise. Being only four years old, she did. Which is when I squirted shaving cream down the laundry chute and on to her head.

A few years later -- different house, different sister, I told my sister Angie that there was a puppy stuck in the shower drain. She, too, was probably about four years old, which would have made me 12ish. I took her in my parents bathroom and begged her to help me get the puppy out of the drain.

"I don't see a puppy," she said.

"Oh no! It's way down there," I explained. "You have to get down and look really close."

So she got in the shower, fully clothed, down on her hands and knees, and put her eye right up against the drain. That's when I turned the shower on.

Horrible, isn't it? But I was young then.

Not sure what my excuse was tonight.

Annie was in the shower, singing away. I told her to wrap it up -- the girl takes showers long enough to fillibuster the Senate for a week. She insisted she'd just gotten in.

Oh, I just couldn't resist. I knew she'd be mad, but I decided it was worth it.

I went to my bathroom and filled up a 32-ounce cup with cold water. Then I tiptoed back to the kids' bathroom (well, Annie's bathroom, since she's taken it over), climbed up on the toilet and dumped the cold water over the shower curtain and onto my unsuspecting daughter!

Awful aren't I? (tee hee hee!)


Mel said...

You're a girl after my own heart...I have done the exact same thing to my husband...hmmm...think I'll try it on my 12 year old son who prefers to just stand in the hot water for 40 minutes than actually shower! You must be an oldest sister...I tortured my younger sister for most of our life in the same house...I tell her that if it wasn't for me she wouldn't be so tough...instead she'd be a crying, wimpering, noodley baby head and she would never be surviving motherhood. LOL Let's just say there is NOTHING her kids could do that I haven't done or thought of already. She should be thanking me really :) Now I would never do anything to "hurt" anyone...just good fun really!

Joanie said...

We used to sneak in to the bathroom and flush the toilet when whoever pissed us off was in there. Took away all the cold and made the shower really hot!

And once, my sister Jeanne and I peed in a cup and told our brother, Marty it was lemonade. We got beaten for that little caper.

Anonymous said...

I've been known to wait until my husband finishes his hot shower. He'll turn the water off and open the curtain and then that's when I throw a gallong of ice water on him! He always gets me back though! That's the fun of it! Now that I've written that, it is actually quite weird!

varangianguard said...

Mel must have it right. You MUST have been the oldest child.

New name for you Cruella da Frog.

Jealousy is a terrible thing. Why couldn't I have thought of stuff like? Cause I'm was not the eldest. Of course, he didn't do anything like that either.

Hm. Must reconsider childhood in this light. lol

Sharon said...

Awesome. I'm impressed.
I'd say it's kind of mean, but not unusual. ;) I do hope Annie finds a way to get you back.

My brothers had a favorite. Once I was coming out of the shower-nice & steamy, skin all soft & sensitive. They were crunched down waiting for me to come out, and they shot me w/ thick rubber bands. NICE.
I still hate them for that! lol

Momza said...

You're too smart for your own good, you are!
Still, I'd love to have been a fly on the wall--or just out in the hallway--when your teenager let out a hoot!

I'm sure she deserved it--being a teenager and all.

Eternal Lizdom said...

Mean mean mean!!! But FUNNY!

Anonymous said...

That's great Amy!! I have been trying to figure out a way to get Samantha out of the shower ... I will use that one :-)

I agree with varangianguard ... Cruella da Frog ... it fits!!


kimybeee said...

My husband did that to me one time and I thought I was having a heart attack and stroke at the same time. It could not have been less funny if he slapped me.

Not a good one to pull - and don't forget about the revenge factor!


Amy said...

@Mel -- Yep. Oldest sister.

@Varangianguard -- Cruella da Frog? What have you started?! LOL!

@Momza -- Oh, she was M-A-D! But she did good. She screamed,"Mom...I seriously dislike you very much right now!"

@Denise -- If Samantha says anything, I know nothing.

Mel said...

I knew it! Totally oldest child syndrome that causes us to do that :) I'm an oldest child (of 2) who married and oldest child (of 4). Sad to say but our oldest child just doesn't have it in him to come up with these crazy ideas...he's very protective of his little sister. But boy, do hubby and I play them on each other.

Nate's Mom said...

This post jut cracked me up. I too am the oldest sister and pulled my share of things on my little sister. I have also done the cold water over the shower on my hubby :-) Growing up, it was always an ice cube down the back of a tucked in shirt (back when we tucked them in...). I come by it genetically. I'd love to hear more...get ideas...