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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

It looked like chicken: The story of my 1st mammogram

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So today was the big mammogram day. And I have to say, what's the big deal?

I arrived a little early and enjoyed a few minutes of the Today show before the perky blonde tech (Andrea was her name) called me back. She led me to a small changing room that could have been at home in a fancy women's clothing boutique, except for the "Mammowipes" in case I had on any deodorant I needed to wipe off. I didn't.

I stripped from the waist up and put on my mammogown, then went to an interior waiting area until Andrea was ready for me. After just a short wait, she came back and led me to the boobal imaging suite. I sat in the chair while Andrea went over the paperwork. Then it was showtime!

She had me stand in front of the machine and uncover half of my chest. Then it was time for the moving and the shaking -- well, the pulling and the squishing anyway. I was prepared for tremendous pain, for tear-producing agony. But it didn't come.

It was almost as though my boobs were disconnected from my body. In fact, they kind of looked like chicken. The only really awkward part was when they kept trying to roll off the metal plate before Andrea could get the smash done. And when she did, there really wasn't any pain. A little discomfort, yes. But pain? Not so much.

And before I knew it, it was over. Since then, my breasts have been a little tender, but nothing I can't handle. In fact, I'd rather have a mammogram than have my teeth cleaned. How's that for a resounding endorsement? I think they should print that on a bumper sticker:

Mammograms: Much better than a teeth cleaning!


Momza said...

ROFL!! Oh my gosh! You are hilarious! See, I told you not to worry--the "girls" would be just fine!
Now the waiting part. Fingers and toes crossed all is well.

Eternal Lizdom said...

Fantastic post!! The "looks like chicken" bit had me rolling!

skywind said...

Oh, a great post.:)
Health informationHumor & Fun World

Joanie said...

Pulling the lead dot off your nipple hurts worse than the squishing!

Shannon @ Gabi's World said...

As I read this my husband kept asking me, "What are you laughing about?" I agree... teeth cleaning is definitely more painful! They told me not to wear deodorant! I brought it in my purse to put on afterward!

And What lead dot did Joanie have??? I think somebody played a cruel joke on her!

Shannon @ Gabi's World said...

Oh hey one more thing... about Biggest Loser tonight! Loved it!! And I thought of you during it and had to laugh out loud when Ron asked Tara if she wanted to see his scar on his hip from his hip surgery! I just knew you were begging him not to do it over there in Indy! LOL

Oh and one more thing... Is it wrong to watch biggest Loser and eat ice cream at the same time?? Just wondering....

~ April ~ EnchantedDandelions said...

LOL! I'm glad it wasn't anything as painful as what you were anticipating. Sending lots of PTs for good results (although, to be honest, I missed a post why you were getting one done in the first place?)